This Blog Is Better Than Your Life

The Sea Is A Good Place To Think Of The Future

2010-03-15T22:43:00.002Z

The Sea Is A Good Place To Think Of The Future

AS Media Coursework

Boy: James Corderio

Girl: Jessica Moore

Tory Boy: Robert Fairclough

Director/Producer/Cameraman: Steven Crossley

Music by Los Campesinos

[Please ignore the shit parts]

Facebook

2010-01-29T17:16:00.003Z

I fucking hate it.

It happens with everything on the internet for me, i always end up going off websites. Bebo, bury message board, this blog, EVERYTHING. But facebook, it lasted a year before getting to this stage.

My relationship with facebook has pretty much gone like this:

1) What the FUCK is this shit?

I joined, and it confused the hell out of me, what was it's purpose, why does it exist, IT MAKES MY BRAIN MELT, even more than why people like coldplay and who actually buys original plain cornflakes, they go so soggy :( I still haven't found an answer to any of those 3 questions. Answers on the back of a postcard (or in the comments box below vvv)

2) I'm bored... let's go on facebook.

Everytime i was bored? On facebook. Bored? Let's update my status. Bored? Lets add someone? Bored? Lets take photos of anything and stick it on. Bored? FACEBOOKFACEBOOKFACEBOOK.

3) I'm not bored... BUT LET'S GO ON FACEBOOK ANYWAYS.

So, i have better things to do, but yet... i'm still on facebook? Why?
This was my really obsessed stage, which is mainly covered by this blog here.
It mentions the fact i once updated my status 10 times in one night! TEN! That's a lot. I'm not as bad as that anymore.

4) SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT X-FACTOR ALREADY.

See here.

5) It's getting a bit boring now... NEW LAYOUT WTF?! THIS IS SHIT.

New layout, new times, new complaints. It distracted me for a while, but then i realised, it was the same old same old.
I was wrong.
(yes! I JUST ADMITTED THAT I WAS WRONG. STEVEN CROSSLEY HAS JUST ADMITTED THAT. QUOTE THIS WHATEVER YOU WANT).

6) WOAHMG! LET'S JOIN THAT GROUP! I DO THAT.

Yes. So many facebook groups, so little time. The new found layout meant it was much easier to see who had joined what groups leading to a few brilliant brillaint groups surfacing.

7) WTF!? Only allowed to join 300 groups? LETS JOIN FAN PAGES INSTEAD!

And so i did. Loads of them, not as many as let's say Erin, who joins more fanpages than anyone EVER. But still a few.

8) Okay these groups/fan pages are really starting to piss me off now.Well shit.

And they were. Sure there was the odd epic alternative turn on everything "You should make cod whilst i play cod ;D" but mainly, it was shitter than that time everyone got raped by a dog.

9) Infact. The whole of facebook is shite!

Welcome to now.

But still.
I spend so much time on it.

Why?

Because, as i say on almost a daily basis; "if you're not on facebook, you don't exist".
It's true. It is the way to communicate with most people, i dont have anyones msn from college, cause i can just facebook them. I don't email my sister or brother, i facebook them. I don't even text people these days if i'm on the computer, as i can facebook them. Hell, i don't even pray to God, i facebook him.

Facebook rules the world.
The world is shit.

That's not a coincidence.
<3

Oi you lot.

2010-01-17T20:09:00.002Z

If you've found this, well done, yr a true fan as i'm not going to link this. Well done for sporadically (or randomly) checking this blog.

Two things.

Firstly, yet another internet site has the... grace(?) of my presense. If you haven't had enough of me already, check my Tumblr to the right.

Also:

My Birthday's on thursday. Can i have money (that will be spent on gigs + paying my parents) or music (that will fill my ears with joy... and inevitably make me want to go more gigs).

Cheers.
Merry January.

Review of this Blog's Year

2009-12-31T14:29:00.005Z

So here we are.

The last blog of the month.
The last blog of the year.
The last blog of the decade.

I remember 10 years ago being 6 and waiting up till midnight to go into the new millenium, i didn't know any of you lot (well bar people who went chesham) and my life was a hell of a lot simpler than the complicated mess that it is now.

But. It's been a pretty good decade. It's had it's ups, it's had it's downs. But if i was rating it i'd probably give it about a 7/10. Lets hope the next decade makes a 7.5 at least.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME.

This is about the year of the blog. Let's go take a look...

JANUARY, FEBUARY, MARCH
Nothing. Zilch. There was no blog. No blog existed.

APRIL
I saw rob start a blog, and the dream began. I summed up what i wanted to achieve in my opening blog:

Anyway, MY PURPOSE FOR THIS BLOG.
Well it's pretty much what i do in my real "life":

1) Ramble about utter rubbish
2) Tell (un)funny stories and jokes.
3) Go on about how the world is in a mess and how to fix it

Of course, this blog will just wittle and die like so many others as, tbh, nobody cares about my shitty life except me and people close to me... and they hear me talk like this EVERY DAY.

I pretty much have done all of that, but i've also gone on about music A BIT TOO MUCH.
Amazingly though, this blog hasnt died out at all.

My next blog post was all about james corderio. I'm still in love with him now.
The rest of the month talked about how i posted too many status updates - i still do, natch - days doing stuff, terrible jokes, amazing bands, how i lost my phone and one of my favouritist blogs, how bad the sunday feeling is. Also, like one of the best gigs of my night.

I was in blogging fever and managed 11 blogs in just 13 days. Madness.

MAY

I was in blogging fever still doing blog after blog after blog.
After a couple of shite ones i had my first anti-racism rant, a sign of things to come.
I did about how i got a new phone, and then did a horribly long (and completely wrong) review of 3 cds. The enemy albums wank, no way did i give it 8+1/2 out of ten.
Also, one of the shortest blogs ever but very to the point.
I blogged about football a couple of times as well as doing a shit blog or two, i celebrated the blogs month birthday

And then my blog changed the course of events.

I bitched about study leave on one blog... few days later? WE GET STUDY LEAVE.
Power to the people man. *brofist*

I then blogged about christianity, how stupid north korea is before doing a blog on how to dispose of cereal and celebrating beating lizzie on minesweeper.

TBIBTYL - TACKLING PROBLEMS SINCE APRIL 09.

Anyways, i did 18 blogs. The most in a single month, and probs will remain like that too.

JUNE

I started with explaining what to do when bored at night, followed by blogging about why americans are idiots.
Then i realised british people are idiots when loads people voted for the BNP. I whined about that.
I then told of how i should probably be revising, and reviewed some internet sites.
Next was a blog about the first day i met sarah

And then the downwards trend of shit blogs kicked in.
I did 2 music weeks, and they were shit, and no one cared.
However i did include one good blog, about the prom.

Just the 10 blogs this time.

JULY

What a terrible month. I did a blog about shit, another music week, another terrible blog, told everyone the blog was on a break... BEFORE DOING TWO MORE BLOGS.

Both shit.

Just the 6 this month.

AUGUST

Nothing.

SEPTEMBER

I returned. Well kind of, my 1 blog was a blog telling everyone i was returning.
Which sort of didnt happen.

OCTOBER

This is when they kinda started getting good again.
Okay my first proper blog back was shite and about "wires" like wtf?

But then they started to get interesting, i blogged about insessant X-Factor status' . Nine comments, for a blog that hadnt done a good blog since june, that was fucking good.

I moaned about facebook some more before doing this (completely unbiased) guide to bury colleges, people liked it, and i enjoyed blogging again.

Just 4 blogs but all good.

NOVEMBER

This was the month my blog got linked by the amazing series Misfits for this blog. 11 comments and random people commenting, brilliant.

Other than that the month was a bit dire, i counted all the things i break and told everyone about my week.

4 blogs same as last month.

DECEMBER

The amount of blogs went up this month. I had another anti-racist rant,
did my top 6 people of the year, went on about gigs and blogged about christmas.

Oh and this one.

Happy new years you lot. I'll see you on the other side.

IT'S (been) CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAS

2009-12-29T21:56:00.005Z

So. It's that time of year again when a fat, bearded fellow climbs down your chimney, leaves little kids presents and eats all your food, but enough about gary glitter. (What a terrible joke on 12hundred different levels i know)

WE'RE ON ABOUT CHRISTMAS.

Woooo.

etc.

Yeah, since it's now ther 29th of December, i find it hard to raise the energy to pretend to be excited about it.

"BUT STE. SURELY YOU HAD A GOOD DAY?!" scream my plethora of fans (Okay sarah does, amir takes a mild passing interest, AND NO ONE ELSE GIVES A SHIT).

But yes sara- i mean my fans, i did have a good day.

And i got shit loads stuff. Please look away now if you hate middle class kids...

The List Of Christmas Presents That I Deffo Don't Deserve And Stuff Which Would Have Been Put To Better Use If The Money Had Been Sent To Africa For A Well:

Me 'Rents are paying 100 quid towards my Leeds Fest tix -
11 Albums - 3 editors, 2 jofo, klaxons, hard fi 1st, killers 1st, lmt 2, slow club, white lies LAV IT.
Killers Live DVD - They are so good live, if i ever got enough money i think i'd go see them live.
Inbetweeners Series 2 - "I want to be an airplane driver"
Peep Show Series 6 - "I took a wank bullet"
X-Men Quadrilogy - Is that even a word? Fuck knows, but they're all good films.
Guitar Hero 5 - for wii. 100%'d brianstorm yesterday. Best moment of my life. YEAH.
Little King's Story - for wii. Looks shit. Is brilliant.
De Blob - Not great, but okay.
SMELLY STUFF - Cause i smell
CHOCOLATE AND SWEETS - cause i love stuffing me face.
30 Quids Worth of HMV vouchers - Sarah, my uncle and aunt, and vickiees mum+step-dad. They know me too well. And yes, despite those 11 albums, their are other CDs that i STILL want.
Book thing - Off Vee, people wrote in it. Love you people.
Hand cream - Off Vee, "cause i'm such a girl" apparently :(
Frigid - Off Vee .A beany baby penguin. LOVE THAT PE- I mean... GIRL.
30 quids worh of... MONEY - Yeah i now have money :O Maddness
Sir Den-OH WAIT No i dont. Despite starkie saying he'd give it me :(

YOU OWE ME THAT PENGUIN BITCH.

Anyways enough about that.

"HOW WAS YOUR CHRISTMAS DAY?" shouts the voice in my head, THAT DEFFO DOESN'T MEAN I'M CRAZY HONEST PLEASE DON'T TAKE ME AWAY FROM MY FLYING FROGS.

*cough*
Anyways.

Woke up just after 10, unwrapped all my shit (not literal shit, gary glitter doesn't hate me... sorry santa), watched the family watch all the stuff. Used my stuff. Had christmas dinner with the folks and grandad ("Seen rochdale! top of the league!" "yes :(" god that man is cruel), watched some christmas tele with the folks, played guitar hero a lot.
About it.

No football on boxing day led me to feel slightly worried and scared and thinking WTF WHY IS THERE NO FOOTBALL ON BOXING DAY. ;_;
and

and
and
and
and

I'M RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO SAY I'M LOSING ALL INSPIRATION.

I'm going to click publish post now.

THE 6 BEST PEOPLE OF 2009

2009-12-24T01:31:00.013Z

AS VOTED FOR BY ME.

Me = Steven Crossley, writer of This Blog Is Better Than Your Life, and general awesome guy.

I picked 6 as i couldn't leave one out to make a top 5, and i couldn't be arsed writing about 10. This isn't to say these 6 people mean the most to me (they're deffo in the top 10 though), it's just when i think of 2009 i think of these 6 people having the biggest and best impact on it.

In alphabetical order (of first names):

Adam Reeve

"Who?" is probably everyone's reaction to this name, and you're right, none of you know him. He isn't famous, he isn't northern, so what the fuck is he doing on this list? Well he's been my mate constantly this year and has made me laugh a hell of a lot. Sure he does too many sex/wank/poo jokes but he cares about shit too, and has consistently helped me whenever he could. He's also a sexy man. As you can see above. Fate has it we don't live close but he's been more awesome this year than any other, and considering i've known him since the start of 2007, that's saying something.

Andrew Starkie
A lot of people expected us to fall out this year because of the girl situation, they underestimated our friendship. We battled on, we hung out, I made him laugh, he made me raise a smile from time to time, he grew his hair and it suits him much better. He started coming further forward at gigs and generally being more and more awesome as the year goes on. Don't tell him I said this but he's probably the main reason i go into that holy cross hell hole every week. We've been mates since year 7 and the "chill out zone" and we're better mates than we ever have been tbh. Even though he torments me with "I've pulled, have you? ;D"

James Corderio

The story of mine and james' love for each other is very well documented, on this very blog, but I will proceed to write some words about him anyways. Basically we started talking because of (what we thought were) broken hearts, but now we talk about anything. He likes some of the music i like, and i like his band. He may be brown, but he's awesome. He likes short, pale, slim girls with indie fringes and clothese. He smokes and i disaprove but i still love him nonetheless for fucking up his life. Please love his band. They're quite good, and they may even record "Lucid Lucie" sometime. Maybe.

Rob Fairclough
It seems mad that until James' party in may i never really spoke to him. Cause lets be honest here, Rob is a legend. Sure he can be overly harsh at times, but he has a strong heart, and he serves to remind me that i'm not always the grace of god and i do have my downsides. Only a few though. He's probably the funniest person on this list of people, he seems to think of jokes off the top of his head in a way that makes me jealous. The cunt. Anyways, yeah he's been awesome this year and will be next year. LEG-END.

Sarah Gee
It seems weird that i'd include someone who i first me on Monday 15th June in the top 6 people of the year but i just did. I spose it shows how awesome she is, she's my brother on facebook, and she actually feels like my brother (not literally... errr not that i touch my brother. OR SARAH! OR ANYONE (other than my girlfriend)). We take the piss out of each other, but we trust each other and shes a laugh. She may be an emo, all her friends may be lesbians, she may be a massive racist, but hell. It's sarah. Gotta love her.

Victoria McCusker
This is a hard paragraph to write. How do you write about how awesome your girlfriend of 7 months is without coming across as soppy or whatever? The answer is you can't. More than anyone, vee's changed my year for the better, since i've met her the years got better and better, we've got better and better as a couple. She cheers me up when i'm down like no one else does, and a lot of memories of my best memories of this year involve her in some way. She's pretty amazing, and since this is the end of the year, i'll even admit she's special to me.

DONE.
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, bla bla bla.

Oh, btw. Birthday on 21st January. Get buying me something. Ta bbz.

Gigs

2009-12-18T19:50:00.097Z

Just for reference and something i can update and so i can look back and remember when im old. if i've forgotten any, someone give me a shout.

The List:

11 times:
For The Weekend (FTW)

8 times:

Johnny Foreigner

6 times:

Los Campesinos!

Twisted Wheel

4 Times:

The Answering Machine

Everything Everything

The Futureheads
The Pigeon Detectives

3 Times:

Blood Red Shoes
Bombay Bicycle Club

Dutch Uncles

Egyptian Hip Hop

Frankie & The Heartstrings

Twice:

Once:

The Backhanded Compliments

Reverend And The Makers

Runaround Kids

Skint and Demoralised

Sky Larkin

The Streets

The Strokes
The Subways
Tip Your Bartender

Tubelord

We Are Scientists

Wavves

Venues:

(Manchester unless stated)

10 times:

Academy 1

8 times:
Academy 3

5 times:
Club Academy

4 times:

Apollo
Siberia/Verve [Bury]
3 Times:
Academy 2

Night & Day
Twice:
Bramham Park [Leeds]
The Flying Shuttle [Bury]

Once:

117 Oldham Road's basement

Blind Tiger [Bury]

Bodega Social [Nottingham]

Brundell Social Club [Leeds]

Council Chambers

The Death Institute

Do Dah's [Rawenstall]

Doctors' Carpark [Bury]
FAC 241

Flapper [Birmingham]
The Foundry [Sheffield]

Gatecrasher [Nottingham]

HMV Arndale

HMV Market Street

The Hop [Wakefield]

The Hubs [Sheffield]
Islington Mill
JD
M.E.N. Arena
MET [Bury]

Nice N' Sleazies [Glasgow]
O2 Academy [Sheffield]

Pavalion Theatre
The Plug [Sheffield]

Town Hall [Bury]

The Ritz

The Rock [Bury]

The Shipping Forecast [Liverpool]

Solus [Cardiff]

Sound Control

St. Phillips Church

Wakefield Cathedral [Wakefield]
West Street Live [Sheffield]

Festivals: 5

31/05/10 - Dot To Dot Manchester @ Academy2,3+Club and Council Chambers

Los Campesinos!, Mystery Jets, Twisted Wheel, Blood Red Shoes, The Answering Machine+The Cheek+Egyptian Hip Hop+Goldheart Assembly+White Hinterland+Frazer King+Lawson+Field Music+The Chapman Family+Daisy Dares You+Wild Beasts+Dan Sartain

27-29/08/10 - Leeds Festival @ Bramham Park [Leeds]

The Futureheads, Mystery Jets, The Cribs, Dizzie Rascal, The Libertines, Arcade Fire, Los Campesinos!, Kele, Foals, We Are Scientists, Klaxons, Gaggle, Matt Abbott, Eddie Argos, Girls, Two Door Cinema Club, Mumford & Sons, Phoenix, LCD Soundsystem, Slow Club, Everything Everything, Egyptian Hip Hop+Spectrals+Frankie And The Heartstrings+The Neat+Local Natives+Chiddy Bang+Cypress Hill+Cypress Hill+Funeral Party+Lost Prophets

11/06/11 - Long Division @ The Hop+Wakefield Cathedral [Wakefield]

Los Campesinos!+Kate Jackson Group+Emmy The Great+Runaround Kids+Dinosaur Pile Up

23+24/07/11 - Tramlines @ Various Outside Venues [Sheffield]

Los Campesinos!+Johnny Foreigner+Ash+The Futureheads+Copy Haho+Danananaykroyd

26-28/08/11 - Leeds Festival @ Bramham Park [Leeds]Danananakroyd+Fucked Up+Best Coast+Cage The Elephant+Little Comets+Fight Like Apes+The Streets+Muse+Frankie And The Heartstrings+Miles Kane+The Naked And Famous+The Vaccines+Noah And The Whale+White Lies+Pete and the Pirates+The Joy Formidable+The Pigeon Detectives+Two Door Cinema Club+Madness+Everything Everything+Bombay Bicycle Club+The National+The Strokes+Pulp

2011: 24

31/01/11 - Little Comets @ Academy 3

04/02/11 - NME Awards Tour (Crystal Castles+Magnetic Man+Everything Everything+The Vaccines) @ Academy 1

17/02/11 - Frankie & The Heartstrings @ Club Academy

18/02/11 - White Lies @ Academy 1

24/02/11 - FTW @ Dry Bar

04/03/11 - The Wombats @ Academy 1

19/03/11 - Bail+Shafted @ Verve [Bury]

24/03/11 - The Answering Machine+Let's Buy Happiness+The Kill Van Kulls @ Sound Control

30/03/11 - The Pigeon Detectives+The Heartbreaks @ The Ritz

11/04/11 - The View+TheSoundOfGuns+Where's Strutter @ Academy2

20/04/11 - Johnny Foreigner @ Nice N' Sleazies [Glasgow]

22/04/11 - Johnny Foreigner @ Bodega Social [Nottingham]

26/04/11 - Dutch Uncles @ HMV Arndale

27/04/11 - Johnny Foreigner @ The Shipping Forecast [Liverpool]

28/04/11 - Johnny Foreigner @ Night & Day

14/05/11 - The Kabeedies @ Night & Day

29/05/11 - For The Weekend+Cougar Manouver @ Town Hall [Bury]

05/07/11 - Egyptian Hip Hop+XXXY+Plank! @ Pavilion Theatre

22/07/11 - Johnny Foreigner+Tubelord @ The Flapper [Birmingham]
22/09/11 - Tip Your Bartender @ West Street Live [Sheffield]
23/09/11 - Little Comets @ The HUBs [Sheffield]
28/09/11 - The Subways @ The Fondry [Sheffield]
05/10/11 - Bombay Bicycle Club @ 02 Academy [Sheffield]
06/10/11 - Art Brut @ The Plug [Sheffield]
---
14/10/11 - We Were Promised Jetpacks @ The Deaf Institute
15/10/11 - The Joy Formidable @ Academy 2
16/10/11 - Art Brut @ The Vic Inn [Derby]
18/10/11 - Tellison @ The Vic Inn [Derby]
11/11/11 - Los Campesinos! @ The Cockpit [Leeds]

2010: 21

30/01/10 - FTW @ Do Dah's (For Ella's birthday) [Rawenstall]

12/02/10 - Twisted Wheel @ Academy 2
17/02/10 - Lost Knives @ 117 Oldham Road's basement
12/03/10 - Blood Red Shoes @ Academy 3
16/03/10 - Editors @ Apollo06/04/10 - FTW @ The Flying Shuttle [Bury]

02/05/10 - The Futureheads+Dutch Uncles @ Academy 3

13/05/10 - The Rimes+Dewa+Daddys Milk @ Academy 321/05/10 - Los Campesinos! + Slow Club @ Solus [Cardiff]

29/05/10 - Incondite+No Hard Feelings+Let's Drown The City @ The Flying Shuttle [Bury]

12/06/10 - FTW @ Doctors' Carpark (For Bury Carnival) [Bury]

27/07/10 - Bigfoot @ Siberia [Bury]

16/09/10 - Sky Larkin+Dutch Uncles+Milk Maid @ Night & Day

06/10/10 - Blood Red Shoes+Male Bonding @ Club Academy

18/10/10 - Perfume Genius @ St. Phillips Church

09/11/10 - Wavves+Spectrals @ Islington Mill

11/11/10 - Klaxons @ Academy 1

23/11/10 - Good Shoes @ Fac 251

26/11/10 - Johnny Foreigner @ Gatecrasher [Nottingham]

28/11/10 - Johnny Foreigner @ Brundell Social Club [Leeds]

08/12/10 - XFM Winter Wonderland (The Wombats+Bombay Bicycle Club+Mystery Jets+The Futureheads+The View+Everything Everything) @ Academy 1

2009: 1921/03/09 - The Enemy + Twisted Wheel@ Academy 1
15/04/09 - Twisted Wheel @ HMV Arndale
23/04/09 - FTW +Reform+Contrasts+Zoltan @ Academy 3
27/04/09 - Art Brut +The Robocop Kraus @ Academy 3
16/05/09 - Twisted Wheel + TheAnsweringMachine @ Academy 1
03/06/09 - Twisted Wheel + Lost Knives @ JD (NME House Party)
27/06/09 - Missed FTW, saw The Vigilante+Out From Animals+Smudge @ Club Academy (Sonic Boom)
18/07/09 - FTW @ The Rock (Rock on the Rock) [Bury]
31/08/09 - FTW @ Blind Tiger (during GlastonBURY) [Bury]
25/09/09 - FTW +Parafin Oil Shop+The Risks+Last Night's Tuxedo @ Academy 3
16/10/09 - Editors @ Academy 1
26/10/09 - Los Campesinos! +Copy Haho+Sparky Deathtrap @ Death Institute
29/10/09 - Reverend and The Makers + The Backhanded Compliments @ Academy 1
21/11/09 - Arctic Monkeys +Eagles of Death Metal @ M.E.N. Arena
26/11/09 - The Answering Machine +Post War Years+The Crooks @ Club Academy
27/11/09 - White Lies @ Apollo
29/11/09 - The Enemy +General Fiasco @ Apollo
20/12/09 - Bigfoot @ Siberia [Bury]
21/12/09 - FTW @ Siberia [Bury]

2008: 3
22/05/08 - The Pigeon Detectives +Pete and the Pirates @ Apollo
17/07/08 - FTW+The Nevide+Bigfoot @ MET [Bury]
04/12/08 - The Pigeon Detectives +Red Light Company @ Academy 1

Total: 64

Questions for you "music" fans...

2009-12-10T18:32:00.003Z

1. Song of the Year?
2. Album of the Year?
3. Artist of the Year?
4. Song of the Decade?
5. Album of the Decade?
6. Artist of the Decade?

Answer in comments plz, i should be doing a blog about my answers to those six questions, so i'd like to see how you lot feel too.

Also, dont forget this decade includes the years 2000-2005. Some good music was released then too, don't forget about it.

Think about it.

2009-12-03T23:16:00.002Z

It's the way a word is said, not the word that is said. How many people dya think who get called a "paki" has lived in BRITAIN their whole life, and their parents lived in BRITAIN their whole life? A hell of a lot. How many people dya think who get called a "paki" are actually from india or bangladesh origin? They're not "Pakis" any more than we are "french". And thats why people call it racist. Think about it. ♥

Misfits Episode 3 Clips

2009-11-26T17:08:00.005Z

Wow, my last blog got a lot of attention, i got emailed by the lovely PR company behind Misfits (http://www.hotcherry.co.uk/) and even got Misfits to tweet about it: See HERE.

So to get you in the mood for tonights episode i have 2 lovely clips for you:

Misfits, Thursday 26th November at 10pm on E4

Brilliant.
I won't be able to watch it at 10pm, as i'm out watching The Answering Machine (listen to their album here) as my first gig of my 3 in 4 days. But don't worry I'll be catching up on 4oD as soon as i'm home and i'll give it a review in the next couple of days. Don't forget to watch

PS. Anyone fancy a misfits competition?
PPS. Thanks to hotcherry for the videos.

It's dripping with teenage pre-cum, but it's fucking brilliant.

2009-11-20T00:02:00.003Z

Misfits

Or "Skins meets Heroes meets Inbetweeners", i don't think it has the same ring to it, though that's what e4s voice over guy INSISTS ON CALLING IT, EVERY FUCKING AD BREAK.

Other than that annoyance, Misfits is brilliant. That's brilliant in fucking bold god damit.

You see, Misfits (how long can i keep italicing misfits before i want to stab myself? Lets count) is E4's newest comedy-drama-porno-thriller-horror-thingymagik. It is every fucking genre teenage kids like thrown into one.

Sexy Women? Check.
Lots of sex? Check
Sexy Men? Check.
Criminals? Check
Hilarious Jokes and lead character? Check.
Sex? Check
A weird one? Check.
Boobs? Check.
A chav one people laugh at? Check.
Lots and lots of sex? Check
Loads of sex jokes? Check (as the irish one - i can't remember his name - said: "Another oral sex joke, hilarious!)
Superpowers? Check. Well.

You see, the "Misfits" are 5 young offenders who have all been put on community service for a variety of offences, they kept caught up in a storm, and BANG. They all have "super" powers. Well, all but one. And the powers aren't all "super".

I can't remember the names of the characters so i have nick names:

The Weird One - He's weird. He's shifty, he looks like a massive pervert, he films fucking everything, so obviously, he has the power to be invisible, to be even MORE of a massive pervert. Brilliant. He's doing community service for setting a house on fire. Love that guy.

Look at his eyes.

The Chavish Girl - She's a chav, she can read minds, i can't remember why she got put on community service, so meh. But basically she can read everyones mind. Brilliant. A chavish girl can read your mind, i'm going to have to watch what i'm thinking of when i walk up hornby street (that's a gag for you walmersley lot).

The Sexy Sports Guy - He's black, he works out, he has shit hair. But i'm sure all you girls love him. He's doing community service for being caught with drugs. He can reverse time. REVERSE FUCKING TIME. He's done it once. Gee thanks.

The Hot Black Girl - Anyone who touches her wants to have sex with her. Yeah, seriously, the writers of this are perverts: "Lets give her a superpower to make men want to sleep with her, she can get naked a lot!". It led to the weird one saying he wanted to "piss on your tits". Sex, piss, comedy and superpowers, all in one line, i told you this show had fucking everything.

Not the best picture.

The Funny Irish One - He can't do anything from what we've seen so far, but he is hilarious. He puts everyone down but his jokes are amazing. He is my favourite, and he should be yours.

But basically, in 2 episodes these 5 individuals have murdered someone ("I think this breaches the terms of my ASBO"), had sex with a granny (i won't say no more, because it's a fucking genius reveal), watched girls get undressed, came within 30 seconds ("What's wrong with my come face?"), made out on a fucking stairlift, met a fucking werewolf, turned back time, filmed a naked man running the streets.

So loads sex, loads jokes. But is there any heart Steven, any soul?

It doesn't matter but yes there is. We've already seen the funny irish one change a little bit, without losing any charm, and there is more to come.

So please, if you've got some spare time.
Check out the first two episodes.
It's fucking brilliant.

(Unless you're over the age of 25, then you might hate it and it might disgust you).

Crossley's Week

2009-11-15T15:24:00.007Z

No i'm not starting my own paper, however now i'm considering it...
ANYWAYS.
I'm bored on a sunday. Like every week.
Which got me thinking, could i successfully sum up every day of my week in a simple name? Therefore summing up my life in 7 sentances? The answer? Well. Read on.

Boredom Sunday
It's today! And i'm fricking bored, like pretty much every sunday, ever. EVER.

Long Break Monday
First day back, and i have an epic 3 and a half hour break. It's so long, it's nearly as long as my penis. If errr penis' were measured in hours? So yeah, i'm normally at home chilling. It's pretty damn good.

Fuck My Life Tuesday
The day every week i just cant be arsed with anything. Really gets me down... despite having a 2 and a half hour break and only 3 lessons. But yano, it's fricking tuesday! Say hello to cheer me up on this day :(

Holy Cross Wednesday
I'm not a massive fan of Holy Cross (as revealed in this earlier blog). "But STE! I see you there every wednesday!" Yes. Yes you do. Because it's Holy Cross Wednesday. It's the day where i catch up with my good old chums who go that horrible college. It was hilarious on wednesday though, doing the minutes silence they were, rob STORMS in the college, not realising. "I thought it was just a long queue!" wtf rob? Anyways, i nearly got chucked out, cause proudy thought it'd be funny to shout "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE" really loudly when a teacher was behind me, the cunt. Anyways, between11-1 im normally in and around Holy Cross with such delightful people as Starkie, Rob, Horrocks, Chelsie, Robyn, Adam Macca and many many more.

Too Many Lessons Thursday
THERE'S TOO MANY LESSONS. 6 hours of lessons for the loss :( But cause its nearly the weekend, I don't want to "fuck my life".

Football Friday
After a week in college i finish at 3pm! And then... i go back to college to play football at night, with people from the good old Derby. S'alright.

Soccer Saturday
I watch Bury pretty much every saturday (unless they're dawn sartttth).

BOREDOM SUNDAY
THE CYCLE IS COMPLETE.

Can you sum up your days in one sentence each?
TRY IT AND FIND OUT.

God i love cats.
Buy me a cat for christmas?

Sorry for the shit blog. But i was bored. And i stopped you being bored for a minute, so yeah.

BAIS.

ps. adz. is crap.

Because I CBA making a properly serious blog.

2009-11-04T16:53:00.008Z

"You break everything" is a common insult thrown at my by Ben/Victoria/Rob/Otherpeople.

But why do they say that? What have i ever done?
Well, i'm going to list my escapades...

At the age of 7. Or 8. Whatever. I broke a car headlight (1). It was a bike race, and i was slow, turned a corner too fastly, crashed into a parked up car. Bad bad times. Some older people went off to tell the guy. I shat it (well i would if i knew what "shat" meant, i probably thought it was a hat) But they came back and said "it doesnt matter i'm selling it soon". The more i think about it. The more i realise. THAT WAS PROBABLY A LIE (Like the cake).

Later on in life i broke my dads laptop (2) from work by pulling out the dvd tray. I also broke a keyboard (3) with my sister by spilling coke on it. Talk about spilling stuff, i once broke another of me dads laptops (4) by spilling coke on it. True times.

Talking about breaking laptops. I - rather famously - broke Rob Faircloughs laptop (5) by spilling lager on it, just the other month. It's fixed now though, so dont worry.

Me and Rob in happier times.
Well, we're not smiling.
And there's a thumb down.
So just...
Me and Rob in times.

I also have a nasty habit of breaking peoples gates. Namely Elliott Fawcetts (6) by swinging on it: "Awww come out playing football" *gate breaks* "Err... im going now" *runs* And Bens (7) though i can't remember how.

Talking of Ben i've broke his PSP (8), his PS3 controller (9), his XBOX 360 controller (10), and generally his self esteem.

I must have broke starkies "famous" window (11), just by pushing it:

As amazing as it was the first time i saw it.

I broke the first (12), second (13), third (14) and fifth (15) phone i ever owned. I lost the fourth. Read about it here. Such sad times. And so long ago.

I also broke 3 watches (16,17,18) ... of the same make. LOVE ARGOS. LOVE LIFE. Also, broke the watch i got for my 16th birthday (19).

In more recent times, i did criminal damage to Clinton cards. Me, Rob and Horrocks - being the hilarious fellows we are - put a fantastic mr fox mask on a teddy bear in the shop. I walk without walking. I walk into a mug stand. The whole thing shakes. One falls off. (20)

I'm a wanted criminal.

Look at me. I'm a bastard.

A bastard in yellow.

Talking of stuff i've broke, i've broke sarah's house (21) and err, her back (22). I sort of pushed her off some really high 5-a-side nets. She could have been disabled. She wasn't thank god.

I can't afford the compensation.

And she's my brother.

Talking of people breaking, i broke my leg, not once (23), but twice. (24) Both playing football.

Look at the leg! D:
Look at the amazing spaceship wallpaper too.
But mainly, MY LEG.

Add in the amount of fucking wires as well... we're on about (50), yes i break that many headphones.

There's obviously so much much more i've forgotten but i cba thinking now.

I think all this proves is.
The justice system doesnt work, as i should be up for criminal damage.

ps. adz etc etc.
pps. blog off.

A Completely Unbiased Guide To The Colleges Bury Have To Offer

2009-10-28T00:54:00.003Z

It's the time of the year where lickle year 11s are thinking of going to college, here is a completely unbiased guide.

BURY COLLEGE

Offers a range of qualifications, A-Levels to Diplomas.
Is situated close to Bury.
Has a boring Principle
Slogan is: "Outstanding!"
Not into indocrtination
No lessons? You can go into Bury and hang out, or even go home! :D
5 minutes late? Don't worry, Bury won't castrate you.
Don't have a lesson till 1? You don't have to come in till 1.
Miss a lesson? We won't phone you.
Has a libary where you can rent lots of DVDs for free.
Has some form of security to stop peadophiles.
Has me.

Holy Cross College

Just offers A-Levels
Is further away from Bury
Has nuns.
Slogan is: "If you're not clever, fuck off".
Makes you do RE to push their catholic agenda.
No lessons? YOU CAN'T LEAVE THE BUILDING. DON'T YOU DARE.
5 minutes late? BURN HIM!
Don't have a lesson till 1? You have to be in at 20 to 9... EVERYDAY.
Miss a lesson? We'll fucking phone you alright.
Has a libaray where you can rent the bible, and NOTHING ELSE.
Has no form of security. I can get in whenever i want for fucks sake!
Only has me visiting on wednesdays.

HAVE FUN CHOOSING KIDS.

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHICH GROUP YOU'VE JOINED.

2009-10-28T00:26:00.001Z

Fuck off facebook.

IF YOU LOVE X-FACTOR SO MUCH, FUCKING WATCH IT.

2009-10-18T20:47:00.005+01:00

Seriously this is for all you lot on facebook who fill my facebook feed with drivel every saturday and sunday night.

I don't give a flying fuck about twins. I couldnt give two shits about john or whitney or whatever else is on this stupidly shit program that is worse than AIDs in a donkey injected into you with a rusty screwdriver. The only point you could possibly raise thats worth my attention is to do with Cheryl. But that's what google's for thank you very much.

These are the facts:
X-Factor is a fix.
These people cannot sing.
All they care about is the fucking "storyline". If your mum once did a shit on an immagrent, your going to win.
Cheryl is fit.

I want to defenestrate people. urgh.

The thing is, i dont mind people doing statuses to an extent, but seriously... WATCH THE FUCKING PROGRAM.

As soon as the twins were through, at least 20 people were lyk "WOAHMG TWINS THRU!" "YAY TWINS THRU!" "HOW R THE TWINS THRU!?".

Seriously.
If you care so much.

WATCH THE FUCKING SHOW ALREADY, STOP TELLING ME ABOUT IT ON FACEBOOK. WATCH IT ON TV. THEN COME ON FACEBOOK AND MOAN. IF YOU'RE ON FACEBOOK. YOU'RE NOT WATCHING PROPERLY ENOUGH.

Fuck you.

PS. AND YES I'M AWARE OF THE IRONY.

Fucking Wires.

2009-10-03T00:47:00.005+01:00

I literally thought about a song title to do with fires for oooh... 10 seconds, before i gave up.

So basically this is basically about my on/off relationship with those sexy, scary, easily breakable, little, skinny, predominately black things... named WIRES. Though James also fits that discription:

Hello.

I'm a wire.
Pulling a funny face.

But what's brought on this blog, what wires have i broken recently?
First off: I HAVEN'T BROKE A WIRE... they break themselves

Seriously they do.
It's a massive conspiracy that goes all the way to the top of the wire related organisations.
For example:

I treat the wire connecting my hi-fi and my MP3 player with lots of love and affection and yet it's gone and BROKE. "B-b-b-but ste you must have done something!". Well what did Czechoslovakia ever do to Nazi Germany? Life isn't fair kids.

Look at the one in the middle.
I bet he was in on it.
TBIBTYL - The only Blog EXPOSING THE TRUTH.

But how is it a conspiracy? Are you sure it isn't just a "rogue" wire.
Now, you might be right on that but how do you explain the following?

- The Hi-Fi to MP3 player
- Laptop Charger (times 2)
- Headphones (OVER NINE THOUSAND times)
- Erm. Other wires.

See! It's not a conspiracy. It's the truth. It's fairly obvious the wires have an inside man on the goverment dishing out faulty wires to innocent, hard working people. Oh and me.

Thinking about it. The BNP are probably in on it. After all, most wires are black. The only wires i have that aren't black... STILL WORK! Seriously. Coincidence? Maybe. BUT MAYBE NOT.

What a horrible man.
And what an ugly man.
If he's the master race, i despair for the rest of us.
LOOK AT HIS EYE FOR FUCKS SAKE!

The Hi-Fi to MP3 player lead was esspecially important if i wanted a random selection on, as now im stuck with CDs, which whilst are awesome, arent a random collection of 1106 tracks. It's upsetting to me.

A moments silence please.

In other news...

I've started college. It's pretty good. It revolves around talking in lessons and talking out of lessons.
It's my cup of tea.

Yay for (terrible) visual gags?

Night guys.

PS. adz :(
pps. i cant believe it! A proper blog!

Psst

2009-09-06T02:59:00.001+01:00

Hey, that's right a blog. Okay its not a blog. This is more of an update. Basically, i'm going to start blogging again soon. Well i have a blog in mind anyway. Thats right, at the END of about 2 months where i had no work, no school and unlimited free time, i'm gunnah start blogging again.

Does that make sense to you? Me neither.

Basically i'm making this to see how many of you actually keep checking this blog, leave a comment if you do and dont breath a word to anyone (except me on msn if you want).

I'm not gunnah publise (fuck i cant spell... i got an A* on eng lang! Honest!) this anywhere, so i'll see who my true fans are if your still checking 2 months later.

So until next time.

Bye.

ps. adz = silence
pps. i love you.

That time of night again.

2009-07-18T03:35:00.004+01:00

Before i get on with my blog, i recommend my mate Adz's blog: "A Blog So Awesome It Hurts". A blog so awesome, it does hurt. Much like how this blog is better than your life. Errr, yeah. Anyways, go on there and suggest he should rename his band "Reeve and the Makers" or "Reeve against the machine" or any other names related to his surname, which is Reeve. Believe it or not.

=

Hello readers of "This Blog Is Better Than Your Life" it's stupid o clock again, i can't sleep, msn isn't working (and no one will be on it anyways) and i have nothing else to do.

So i came on here and i'm going to blog.

As i sat down to write this blog. Okay i'm lieing down, and i didn't originally lie down to write this blog, but let's be honest, thats besides the fucking point you nit picker.

Anyways as i was lay here i was thinking "haven't i already done something similar to this blog before"? I racked my brains (read: looked at the right hand side at my blog archive) and found this little gem: Dear Ste, I can't sleep... what can i do?

It is obviously an awesome blog (probably better than your life) and it somewhat saddens me that it has 6 comments when my last blog had the one, i reckon you all fucking hate me these days ;_; Prove you don't by leaving comments! Yay ^_^

Anyways looking through it it's actually solid advice and ironically enough i found myself doing most of these tonight.

Sure i've already made a blog, but i'm blogging. I haven't been on myspace listening to music, but spotify.

I'm currently listening to "homecoming" by "the teenagers" with the brilliant line:
"I fucked my american cousin" sung by a boy, followed by a girl singing:
"I loved my english romance" perfectly summing up most relationships in 2 sentences: Girl likes boy. Boy uses girl. Not me obviously as not only am i sexy, talented, awesome, funny and a brilliant writer, i'm also a fairly decent guy who y'know, actually loves his girlfriend.

Anyways i've been on twitter for a while now and i reckon it's good. Mainly because more people care about what i'm doing than the number of people i care about :P Also eddie argos is following me. I have a celebrity friend. Sort of.

It isn't perfect by a long shot, but i'm really liking it. However i sometimes tweet then realise that none of you lot are probably following me, so get your arses on there! Cmon you can read about my diabolical money situation, which probably is worth a blog, but who would read a blog about numbers.

Apart from amir.

OH SNAP INNIT BOYO'S.

Number 4 of things to do when still up was "do something more constructive. Write a story?" I've not really done that tonight, but i have been doing something fairly constructive.

Setting this computer up.

Y'see, my laptop appeared to have decided to stop working so we've had to reinstall EVERYTHING. Which means i've lost everything. Which is kind of shit. Conversations from months ago on msn, all my bookmarked bands from myspace. All the music i had on it. Not good. I feel like crying. But NO!

I'm a man.

Honest. I have a penus and everything!

Ask your mum ;)

LOLOLOLOLO. I'm (literally) here all week, actually.
Forever.
I'll still be updating this blog when i'm 90 and all i can constantly type is "Iran didn't give us this shit back in my day, oh no. Nurse! I want a biscuit. Oh no, now i've wet myself again." Over and over again in some kind of rhytmic chant that slowly takes over the world. A bit like mister saxons drum beat.

OBSCURE DOCTOR WHO REFERANCE GET!

5) Plan something.

Meh, may as well do that now.
Tomorrow i'm going watching James' band (Now know as For The Weekend. Making their acroynm FTW. Like for the win, but you know. Not) on the rock. But what time will they play? will i be up in time? Answers: Probably early or late in the session (it's 11AM to 4PM) and probably not.

Y'see, I'm too lazy to get down there for 11, and bury are playing a friendly at 3PM versus' the MIGHTY oldham athletic. More mighty than raccy borough at least. Not as mighty as everton though. We've already beat both 2-1. Will we keep up this streak? Prediction: Probably not.

Enough planning for you people?

Anyways.

Enough blogging i think?

Btw, i just want to shout out to Alex Alty. Who is actually a legend. Basically Resident Evil 4 Wii was 12 quid at CEX ("lol it sounds like sex innit") and he payed 10 quid of it. And it is brilliant, it is fucking fantastic! Best game i've played for in ages. Sure i probably wont finish it. But it's still genius.

So yeah, i expect to see the following people tomorrow: Vickiee, her mates Molly and Callum, OK, Starkie, Salty, Sophie, Jenni G, rob, terri, jess and of course James.

BUT WILL I?!

Who knows? Not me, that's for sure.

Night readers, i should probably get some sleep. But y'know, it's only 4am so we'll see.

Also, just telling my favourite Ginger and Blonde couple Sammy and Jenny to have a nice time on holiday, and like Sammys mum said, you have 2 choices: "either keep your knickers on or make sure they're wearing a condom". Genius.

"I aint been dropping no eaves sir"

2009-07-17T00:01:00.004+01:00

Like a heroin addict, i've come crawling back to the blog scene. This will be off the wall stuff. There won't be a plan. they won't be regular features, they probably won't even make sense.

But.

There will still be stupidly overcomplicated and exaggerated metaphors which really make no sense if you actually fucking think about it. I will still use widely stereotypical views of people, i will stay be massively judgemental, massively hypocrital, and massively big headed.

Let's get cracking then?

Cracking toast gromit.
I do a great impression of Wallace.

I am a very nosey person in general tbh, i blame my mum as she is quite bad at it herself ("oooh look i havent seen that car there before"). I always want to know what's happening and when i don't i'm not impressed. I don't feel like i have a divine right to know, i just err like knowing? A bit like how most people aren't alcoholics, they just like to drink a lot, and regularly. See what i mean about the metaphors?

People interest me. I don't mean that in a stalkerish i'm-going-to-follow-that-person-and-find-out-where-they-live-and-then-see-what-kind-of-protection-they-have-on-their-house-before-breaking-in-and-excreting-my-bowels-all-over-their-kitchen-floor kind of interest.

I mean more like, listening in on what they're saying.

I love talking you see, it's amazing and is the best form of well anything tbh. I mean it's amazing, words can say anything, can do anything. So i love to hear how people use them and the possibilities that can leave in my mind.

For example:

I was in manchester about 2 weeks ago and this lad and girl were walking past. They might have been boyfriend and girlfriend, though she was way out of his league. She was probably an 8 or a 9, maybe even 9 and a half in four beers high. That blue top shop top you have on is nice, bit too much fake than though but yeah you score high. Oh wait i just started singing the streets.

Fail.

Anyways as i walked past in that second or two i heard:

"If you had to spill it you wouldn't spill it like that!"

Now am i weird in saying that interests me so much?

Like for example, what did she spill that was worthy of a fucking exclamation mark?
Was the spill just words?
Or Something worse?
A drink perhaps?

One of the theories i came up with on the train home is this:

The mate of the girl who the lad sort of knows (but only through association), recently dumped her ex boyfriend via text. Now this is disgraceful, but not only this, she also cheated on him with his best mates brother! His best mate knew that but didnt say anything, but then at one party, it all came out when pictures of it was on a laptop left lying around near his view. Now the ex got so angry he got a drink and "spilt" it all over the girl. Now the girl telling the story to her mate doesnt know this, so is wondering why he spilt it like that when the girl was so far away!

Then again i could just be bullshitting you.

C WT I DID DARE?

Now earlier today (well yesterday if we're getting technical bloggers) i was on me way to see the victoria and i was going down this path and two girls about 13 came up it, one of them was bitching about her sister:

"So i have an artistic sister running about going "NOODLES""

I actually started laughing to myself which got me an odd look after them, but it just made me laugh, how the hell are them 2 things connected? I kind of wish it was some kind of really disjointed family that just run around shouting food products:

"So i have a mathimatical dad running about going "GREEN GIANT""
"So i have a biologist mum running about going "THEY'RE GUNNAH TASTE GREAT"
"So i have a fit brother running about going "CHOCOLATE CUPCAKES"

Talking of chocolate cupcakes:

"He is my friend and i will call him squishy"

Lastly but not least of my eavesdroppings:

"I be go:audio are going to be fucking shite" by some kid riding a bike to his mate.

He sounded kind of bitter which makes me think that he isnt going and hopes it'll be "fucking shite" because people are bastards like that.

Now.

GO AWAY.

ps. a cookie to anyone who knows what film the line in the title is from.

BLOG IS ON A BREAK

2009-07-10T00:49:00.000+01:00

Blogs on a break for a bit. It's been slowly drying up and i think a bit of a break'll do it good. I'm still around so if you wanna get in touch, those links at the side are for yoou.

Sport. It's that thing you watch other people do.

2009-07-09T16:47:00.002+01:00

Back when i was little and thought girls were scary, the moon was made of cheese and the toothfairy was obviously fake but it left me money so i weren't complaining, i was obsessed by sport.

Okay. So girls are still scary, the moon is still made of cheese (watch wallace and gromit. It's a very factual program) and the toothfairy doesn't leave me money any more, buti still debate about yanking a tooth out whenever i need some money.

However, sport does not dominate my life as much as it once did. Y'see i wasn't really into music back then so my life would be a constant rotation of playing sport, talking about sport, watching sky sports news, watching sport in person, oh and playing with rescue heroes from time to time:

Love it.

Now don't get me wrong i still love sport and i'm more obsessed with watching Bury then ever before i think (ah the glories of supporting a decent side.). However back in the day i knew every transfer that was happening, i knew all the rumours about the football, now i don't even know if West Brom has a new manager or if Chelsea have bought anyone.

I was also a bit of a rugby league fan, i support St Helens cause my dad used to live there and used to watch every rugby league match on the tele. I went watching Salford play as well as Swinton Lions when they used to play at the gigg. Now? I don't follow it at all, i barely watched the world cup last year (though it was shit anyways).

I play football every wednesday night with everyone but back in the day we'd all go out and play on seedfield or up limey park every night. Some funny times of alistair in pitch black shouting "I'M GOING TO SCORE THE WINNER" and running past the net. We don't really do that anymore, i did play with james and starkie a couple of weeks ago but thats only for something to do really.

Is this where i'm heading?
Well no as my metabalisms so awesome it makes awesome people such as Eddie Argos look slightly less awesome.

But wait! Before you get the picture i'm completey sportless and in the future won't know the difference between a shuttlecock and a real cock (one makes babies, the others to do with badminton). I am experianced a slight renaissance with sport so to speak.

I got well into the wimbledon, it was all i tweeted about for ages. Okay not all i tweeted about, as i probably discussed by dietary habbits and so forth. But i did get into it a lot.

Like Andy Murray. Sure he's scottish, he's gruff, he doesn't smile and is remarkably unBritish in the fact that he's actually good at something, but i like him! Not sure why. I think it's cause he reminds me of me. Sure i'm shit at tennis, not scottish, i smile sometimes, and i'm not too gruff but i dunnoh. I like his dry sense of humour. A lot of people say he said anti-England coments which he did, but fuck it, i say anti-Scotland comments so it's fair enough the kilt wearing bagpipe man.

Wow, thats a shit reason to support someone. But i do. Man i'm shallow.

He's going to smash that ball back, then go home and eat some haggis.

Also the ashes started yesterday which again has got me watching Sky sports 1 all day. I started getting excited earlier today when we were doing quite well. We're not doing so good now, predictably. My prediction? We'll lose the series 2-1. Which i spose isn't too bad but i'd rather we won it :/

And guess what starts on friday?

BURY PRE-SEASON.

Woop. We start with everton at home before playing radcliffe away. Obviously i'm going both being the MASSIVE fan i am. I don't know if i'll go the other pre-season games. I obviously will as y'know it'll be something to do. But in my head i'm undecided about it.

Unfortunately i miss 2 home games while on holiday, that's great plannign by my mum and dad that. 'Yeah season ticket for you ste, BUT YOU'RE GOING RO BE ON HOLIDAY FOR IT'. Class.

Talking of Bury, our kits look horrible next year:

Ew.
One looks like someones played a prank on a zebra and coloured their black stripes red.
The other.
Well, it makes the elephant man look fairly attractive.

So yeah, basically, i'm not into sport as much as i used to be but i'm getting back into it a bit. I could have just put that instead of doing a whole blog but. Fuck you.

Here's a picture of a mouse catching a lift:

The Music Week #3 (29/06/09 - 05/07/09)

2009-07-06T20:07:00.009+01:00

Back again? Yes. Yes it is.

For those who missed/don't know what the music week is, see here: The Music Week #1

The Music Week
Issue 3
29/06/09-05/07/09
Detailing the sick that makes up my weekly listening habits.

Artists:

[Note: I'm hoping you can see that though it is very blurry]
[Note: Top 20]

This week was dominated by white lies who rise from 6th to 1st. They are brilliant and i have fallen in love with them completely as charted with this blog, from 8th, to 6th to 1st. You can tell i have gradually.

Arctic Monkeys retain 2nd place again, mainly cause i'm hyped for the new single which was first played tonight. It's availble to download at midnight, and it's safe to say i'm getting it. It's a good track, a massive grower. So i have been listening to a lot this week.

Art Brut are in 3rd with Los Campesinos! in 4th. 2 bands i've really come to love over 2009 and are probably my 2 most played bands of the year actually. The kooks are a new entry in 5th, with twisted wheel, the subways, the libertines (another new entry) and sheffield bands milburn and reverand and the makers making up the top 10. Kate Nash has slipped to 11th!

Highest New Entry: The Kooks (5th)
Biggest Upward Mover: Twisted Wheel (19th - 6th)

Albums:

[Note: Again Blurry]
[Note: Top 20 only]

Wow. White Lies in 1st and White Lies in 3rd. Thing is that's the same album under 2 different names so they're actually run away winners this week. It's interesting to see The Subways and Rev and the Makers being in the top 5 albums but not being in the top 5 artists, most of their plays were in those albums obviously. The Rev and the makers has held 4th for 2 weeks now! New entrys by the Kooks and the Libertines in 7th.

Really not much to say otherwise.

Highest New Entry: Inside In, Inside Out by The Kooks and The Libertines by The Libertines (7th)
Biggest Upward Mover: Bang, Bang, Rock and Roll by Art Brut (29th to 12th)

[Note: Blurry i know]
[Note: TOP 10]

Yes that's right. All of the top 10 are the 10 songs from the white lies album. With price of love - predictably - leading the way. There isn't anything more to say other than that is there? Just i was obsessed with white lies this week.

Highest New Entry: Unrelated Business by White Lies (2nd)
Biggest Upward Mover: Price of Love by White Lies (2nd to 1st)

Some more STATISTICS
dedicated to Amir
(Last week in Brackets)

Unique Artists: 43 (47)
Total Tracks: 336 (416)
Total Plays: 443 (518)

This means that's an average of1.31845238 plays per track. (1.24519231)
This means that's an average of 7.81395349 tracks per artist. (8.85106383)
Which means there's an average of 10.3023256 plays per artist. (11.0212766)
This means only 11 artists actually got above the average number of plays.

Final Notes On this week:

1) I love white lies a lot.
2) And then some
3) I mean so much so that they topped all the charts, infact had all the single charts to themselves.

Until next monday. Bye from the music week.

===

Yet, despite this. I havent got tickets to see them live. All the standing tickets are sold out. Gutted? Yes. Yes i am.

However, Los Campesinos! are touring, so ste is happy.

If your interested in going, ask me.

Love you.
Bye.

The Nighttime Dilemma

2009-07-06T00:12:00.007+01:00

Right, let's not beat about the bush here. This blog is about one of those decisions in your life that you dread to make. A bit like the "bin or sink" cereal decisions this decision could actually change your life in some kind of way i've not really forseen yet but i'm sure i'll be able to make up as the blog goes along. Y'see this blog is about:

You Need A Shit. But it's Nightime.
What are you going to do?

Now fair enough you might currently be thinking, what the fuck is he on about. It's obvious. Just go for a poo.

But is it?

Well. Sort of. Y'see if your common like me you live in a fairly smallish house where there is one toilet and it's upstairs next to someones bedroom. This case, my mum and dads.

Now for all you upper-middle-higher-richer-fat cat class of a lot, you might have 2 toilets, maybe even 3, but us proletarian don't have that assest. If we gotta go. We've only got one choice. Well that or the kitchen sink anyways.

It's not a poo but it's in a sink.

So what's the point i'm getting at here in a roundabout way while showing pictures of cute cats? The point is, its half 1, your meant to be asleep but you need a shit. The bathroom is next to mum and dads room leaving 2 options:

1) You have a shit, you strain, you make noises and your parents here you and generally think you're ahem, enjoying yourself. You flush the toilet making a hurrendous amount of noise in the process. You wash your hands noisely and then you stagger out of the bathroom unlocking the door and unleashing such a foul stence it makes your feet smell "not so bad actually" all with your parents hearing.

or

2) You hold it in and wait till the morning.

There is a secret 3rd option which involves having a phantom poo. Now this doesnt mean a ghost shitting, which lets be fair. Would be cool.

Not a ghost poo.
That's something entirely different.
Like on the shirt.

You see a phantom poo is special - so special it gets italics, natch. - basically, its going for a poo. And making no noise or indication that you've been there... apart from the poo in the toilet.

WAIT!

Before you start getting the wrong ideas i've never done that, it's disgusting. But you have to admit it's strangely tempting.

Going for a shit. Silently entering the door and excreting, leaving a little present for mummy or daddy to find in the morning. If you do it enough, they'll get suspisious and hold a family meeting. "Whose been leaving little brown presents at night?" your dad may ask. "Is it santa?" you reply. "NO ITS FUCKING NOT" angry mum would scream. And you play innocent. But the parents get fed up. They install CCTV outside the bathroom recording who goes in and out. You have to now sneak and disable the CCTV without being caught before shitting. Until finally one time, they call in MI5 who catch you red (or rather brown) handed.

Fucking genius. I am writing a novel about that... err despite the fact i've written the whole plot in one paragraph and given away the ending. But you know.

Everytime poo is mentioned. So must this picture.
Top right people. Top right.

But seriously, what do you do? Hold it in and risk constapation or go, and have your parents listen to every sound. The plop it makes on entry. Everything. Well these decisions seperate the boys from the men. You can be a coward, try and hold it in whilst eventually shitting your pants like a baby, or you can be a man. A hero. A legend. AND GO FOR A FUCKING SHIT.

Thank you! I haven't updated for a week. I'm sure you've missed high quallity blogging such as this.

PS. i bet this has made one person need a shit. probably adz.

The Music Week #2 (22/06/09 - 28/06/09)

2009-06-29T13:54:00.008+01:00

They said it couldn't be done. But it's back. The Music Week is back. YES IT IS A WEEKLY FEATURE.

For those who missed/don't know what the music week is, see here: The Music Week #1

But the music week is much more than that, it can tell you EXACTLY how Michael Jackson died. However i'm saving that till the end of the blog so wait for that people...

The Music Week
Issue 2
22/6/09-28/06/09
Detailing the sick that makes up my weekly listening habits.

Artists:
[Note: I'm hoping you can see that though it is very blurry]
[Note: This is just the top 31]

I had a bit of an indie week this time round. Arctic Monkeys, Milburn and Pigeon Detectives top the charts after all being down last week (Pigeons werent there at all!). Los Campesinos! come in 4th and Kate Nash sneaks in 5th. She doesn't seem to be going anywhere soon does she? White Lies are again up there in 6th, i saw them at Glasto and they looked amazing. I want to go watch.

Art Brut, The Subways, Editors and Reverrand and the Makers make up the rest of the top 10. All lad bands in the top 10 then other than Kate Nash, Los Campesinos! (who has 3 girl members) and Art Brut (who has the one). I'm not sexist honest.

Another thing to note is how many songs of Milburn i actually listened too. 74, thats 14 more than the top artist last week, infact the sheer volume of music increased all around this week.

Highest New Entry: The Pigeon Detectives (3rd)
Biggest Upward Mover: Milburn and Arctic Monkeys (18th to 1st, 19th to 2nd)

Albums:
[Note: Again Blurry]
[Note: Top "29" only]

Made Of Bricks stays top of the pile, but with a hell of a lot less plays, infact 34 less plays! I think that just shows how spread out the music was this week. White Lies has gone up from fifth to second, and i can see it being top next month if i carry on the way i am.

Monkeys is in there with the B-sides and that, it's not really an album just my massive collection of there "other" songs, theres so many of them that it's in 3rd after just one listen. WPSIATWIN by the monkeys is 5th with Rev and the Makers are sandwhiched between with another new entry in 4th.

Killers best album: Hot Fuss, hard fi's first, pigeon detectives second and Milburns 2 albums along with Favourite Worst Nightmare complete the top 10.

Highest New Entry: Demos, B-sides, covers etc. by Arctic Monkeys (3rd)
Biggest Upward Mover: Stars of CCTV by Hard-fi (18th to 8th)

Songs:
[Note: Blurry i know]
[Note: Only top 12 on the list as these were the only ones which had more than 2 plays! Seriously]

Wow, a complete new entry a song i hadn't even listened to before this week. But who is it by? And who the fuck are they? Well basically, the frontmand from Milburn has finally got around to starting a new band and that's the best tune off their myspace and i listened to it a lot. It's good. Altough not always gramatically correct.

Price of Love was played one time less this week and therefore slipped a place. I'm a tad embarrassed that 5 of the top 12 are Kate Nash songs. There's also 2 Rev and the Makers songs, one Subways, one wombats song and one maximo park.

They're the only songs played more than twice this week. What's weird is that none of my top 4 artists this week has one song in there. Quantity over quality in my artist charts then?

Highest New Entry: Somewhere Near Oxford by The Book Club (1st)
Biggest Upward Mover: We Get On by Kate Nash (11th to 3rd)

Some more STATISTICS
dedicated to Amir
(Last week in Brackets)

Unique Artists: 47 (23)
Total Tracks: 416 (251)
Total Plays: 518 (465)

This means that's an average of1.24519231 plays per track. (1.81673307)
This means that's an average of 8.85106383 tracks per artist. (10.9130435)
Which means there's an average of 11.0212766 plays per artist. (19.826087)
This means only 17 artists actually got above the average number of plays.

Final Notes on this week:

1) Most Number of Artist plays does not equal album or song chart success
2) Kate Nash seems to be here to stay
3) As does Price of Love
4) I listened to a hell of a lot more artists and tracks this week.

Until next monday. Bye from the Music Week.

===

As i promised, I WILL NOW REVEAL HOW MICHAEL JACKSON DIED.
He died doing his own version of the music week.
Seriously.
How do i know? Well look at last weeks start, i say this:

That's right, my blog has a feature that will be updated every week. Even if it kills me... the chances are it won't, but if i'm in need of a heart transplant on a monday and i go "no fuck you i'm doing the music week", it might do. Though we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Coincidence? I think Not.

Anywho. I'm in a blogging mood at the moment. Expect one more tonight and a couple tomorrow.

Adios amigos.

IT'S THE ONE ABOUT THE PROM, INNIT?

2009-06-25T00:57:00.014+01:00

This is a blog i should have done ages ago (ie on saturday or sunday or monday or tuesday or wednesday) BUT I WAS TOO BUSY. Well i werent on monday or tuesday... but stfu.

Anyways this blog is all about a special event that happens only once in your life and then you spend the rest of your life very happy. You get dressed up, pictures get taken, and generally, it's treated as A VERY BIG THING (like your mum, m i rite? YES. YES I AM).

No it's not your wedding day, that won't happen only once in your life - OH SNAP! STE PREDICTS DIVORCE LEVELS TO RAISE EVEN HIGHER SAYS DAILY MAIL. NO ONE CARES SAYS NORMAL PEOPLE - but i mean the p word.

Now why was the first word that popped into your head peadophile or pervert? Wait, was that just me... oh :/ Nevermind.

But yes. I am on about the, drum roll please, .......

PROM

You see, once upon a time. Britain ruled a country called my united states of whatever (CHOON). We made them speak our language, the fine old language English. The Americans took this language and literally shat on it.

I'll just let you take in that mental picture for a moment.

Americans.
Imagine them shitting on words.
A bit like 2 girls one cup.
But with less cups.
And less girls.

And basically that's where i left this blog THREE DAYS AGO. So i've decided to finish it tonight. And i'm trying to think of, well basically, i'm padding for time as my brain gets into gear slaps me with a fish and goes COME ON STE LETS DO THIS SHIT.

So first off, lets queue some mission impossible music and go.

Basically i was a massively stereotypical boy about the whole thing. The girls had been "buzzing" about the prom for months, maybe even years. They all had their prom dresses weeks ahead and would spend all day preparing for it. Which is coo' i spose.

However i kind of wasnt. I got my suit like 5 days before, got ready in half an hour and was good to go. I didn't have a clue what kind of limo we were in either as i'd just given scott the money. My sister was going on about my "one and only prom" and i was like... sooooo? Maybe i'm just a cynical bastard but it really wasn't a big thing to me. It was just... meeting everyone from school in fancier clothes than normal. If you get me?

Sexy?
Let's be honest here yes.
Look at how the footballs in the bottom corner too.
Now THAT is how much attention to detail this blog gets.

Yes i went for the classic black tight and suit look. Good? You decide, but it made amir swoon. FACT. Then again, quadratic equations makes amir swoon so fuck it >_>

So we (me, my mum and my father) got down to school, everyone was there, all looking proper good and that. A few shout outs have got to be:

1) Starkie and his businessman look, srsly he looked like he owned half the country
2) Amir, for that suit.
3) Jamie bleaching his hair. WHAT THE FUCK?
4) Ben for the Nial Quinn look. Awesome.
5) Catty and his orange suit thing. Epic.
6) Proudy and his 60's look. Actual complete classic.

So PICTURES OF OUTSIDE SCHOOL THEN?!

The evolution of man.
And the order of intelligence.
But the other way round.

Me and adam.
I just have a man crush tbh.

I like this one.
(That's out limo behind btw)

So we all got in our limo, driven by Elvis Presley. Seriously. Elvis. It was the spit. I mean when he died on his toilet he didn't actually die, he pretended to die because driving limos gave him a much bigger sense of satisfaction. This was for a number of reaons... one's i can't reveal right now as i can't think of any... i mean can't REMEMBER any.

But yeah, travelling in the limo was good, funny times. Dootson (ANDY!!!!!) was there with us and was a good laugh. But a couple of things wasn't as i'd like.

1) TOO CRAMPED. While being close to jamie was a good thing ;] starkie, just no :P
2) We had lemonade not champaigne, what the fuck?!
3) Scott couldnt keep one song on the whole way through. I mean come on!

It was good though, however the stop at bargain booze didn't appear to be on the cards unfortunately. Bastards.

But we got there, milled around for a bit, spending time to make sure we didn't tread on any of the girls over elaborous dresses, drinking J20s, which Dootson did buy a round of, so props to him. Although he had a pint... which seemed unfair on us :(

Anyways we preceded into the dinner hall and i ended up sat next too....

Him again. Sigh.

I jokes :P. I had him on one side and Oli on the other, it was like being tuned into Newsnight and two pints of lager and a packet of crisps... AT THE SAME TIME. Maddness. I'm imagining them merged, how about:

"As the expenses row deepens, the Lib Dem lead- POLICE SNIPER" Jeremy Paxman jumps on the floor. Epic.

Also on my table, starkie, ben, elliott, alex, mr brooks and dootson. Twas good.

Anyways, i mistook some butter for a sweet so got some on my hands. Not a good start. Soup was the first course. Not too bad. The main dish was like chicken and potatos and that. Wasn't great, i made the mistake of putting this thing on me chiicken before tasting it and it RUINED IT. DISGUSTING.

However, the desert was chocolate cake which was absolutely gorgeous. It was like Girls aloud... IN YOUR MOUTH. And i don't even mean that in a dirty way! It was actually awesome.

And then came the speaches:

First up margolis said something. Dunnoh what, it was rubbish.

And then came one of my best mates, the amazing, the legendary, the genius, the head boy. Ben reddiough. With the head girl, just kind of "milling" around him.

I can't remember all of it but it started with "I'll keep it short, like mr margolis." Now dootson and wilko and a few others burst out laughing here, thinking it was a jibe at his height. Ben says it wasn't. But whatever it was, it loosened the mood.

He mentioned proudy being keked, i wish i was there for that :(
Also he did the usual good luck shit which made half the girls in the room melt.

"I'll keep it short... like mr margolis"

Then. Came a brilliant segment that i'll remember for the rest of my life/year/week/day/for as long as this paragraph lasts.

Basically, miss heath had decided to do "prom queen and king" as voted by the public. I led the charge on getting people to vote Peanut and Abdul, getting about 50 votes. But however in a showing of utter disgust, miss heath ignored democracy and chose the second placed candiates. Remind you of Iran? THAT'S WHERE THEY GOT THE IDEA FROM. BAH GAWD.

Tyra got Prom Queen and good choice, she looked good. And then miss heath said "The boys vote was less on looks and more on personality", leading mr brooks to go "IT'LL BE AN UGLY MINGER" and us all laughing.

Who was picked?

Starkie.

"It'll be an ugly minger!"
I love you Andrew Starkie.

Cue, massive loads of laughs and the rest of the night spent joking about it. Love it.

Right, can i just give a massive shout out to the toilets? They were beautiful. Not kidding, actually amazing. I would have had a shit there, no doubt about it.

I didn't, obviously. But still. Actually really good.

Anyways, all the boys went for a mass photo, which is really good. All amazing blokes, dootson and brooks sneaked on xD. good stuff.

Dudes, i'm going to say this now, but i'm going to miss you all, and i love you all. Even the people who i don't know, and even the people that i really want to hate. I'm only saying this now as writing this blog while listening to "Nicest Thing" by "Kate Nash" is slowly breaking my heart :( Not good :/

ANYWAYS. AFTER THE PHOTOGRAPHS.
CAME THE DANCEFLOOR.

"Get your coat. You're pulled"

Thing is, i'm not much of a dancer. There was a conga line which was good fun, but then mosh pits started randomly which was funny, but tiring work. Seeing the "popular" kids jumping to indie made me smile but was rather amused by what Adam said to me:

"Look at them! Thinking they invented indie!" And whilst that's true, Macca, you only got into it about 6 months ago, so much irony. He's a good guy though.

My hair gives away some of the sweating.
And honestly, i wasn't on the drugs. I was making Jess laugh though.

So we did some moshing, did some hanging about with J20s, had a discussion with eastie (legend!) and miss kinder about Art Brut, they said i should ask for them to play a song by them. I gotta admit, i was tempted.

OH YEAH! Almost forgot! Mr Davies was there! Amazing history teacher, amazing guy, absolute legend. Glad he was there. The DJ had to play sex is on fire, my most hated song by my most hated band ever. MY SEX IS ON FIRE? THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! FOR FUCKS SAKE! RAGRGRRRHRGRGRG HULK SMASH. srs. Ste is not amused.

Adam had requested wonderwall as last song which was a very good singy alongy song which we all enjoyed :D But it wasnt the last song! It was a mr brightside/bonkers/remix thing, it was all going really well. We had a mini pile on amir which was funny, i kinda crowd surfed for a short period.

Also the funniest moment was me ramming into amir whose arm was up and he ended up smacking fishy full pelt in the face. Funny times.

And then, it ended. The song was going, but then it just cut out, the DJ went "someone wants a word". and that was it! Well not after we all went "DERBY! DERBY! DERBY!" I credit myself for starting that, but it was proudys idea, so props to him.

I really like this picture.

So we headed home. There was no afterpartys i knew of which was a let down.

But it didn't matter. It was an amazing night.

I'm going to miss you derby.

====

PS. Right. I've FINALLY found my groove again at blogging and you lot have a hell of a lot of blogs coming your way. Obviously you have the music week tomorrow. You have james' party that'll be on soon. Bury college one will be. As well as one about SONIC BOOM from saturday. Also a general "what has ste been up to in his spare time" one.

The Music Week #1 (14/06/09 - 21/06/09)

2009-06-22T23:03:00.006+01:00

Hello and welcome to a new weekly feature from my blog.

That's right, my blog has a feature that will be updated every week. Even if it kills me... the chances are it won't, but if i'm in need of a heart transplant on a monday and i go "no fuck you i'm doing the music week", it might do. Though we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

So...

What is the Music Week?

The music week is a weekly blog that'll detail what i have been listening too while i have been using my laptop to blog, msn, facebook or generally just piss about on the internet.

How am i doing this?
Lastfm
(Read a review of lastfm here)

It is not entirely accurate of my musical tastes of the week for one main reason. I am one of the few people left in the whole world who actually likes to listen to CDs. Bah gawd.

So without further ado, let's get this show on the road:

The Music Week
Issue 1
14/6/09-21/-6/09
Detailing the sick that makes up my weekly listening habits.

Artists:

Art Brut saves my musical taste by one solitary song. I do love a bit of kate nash however. There is a reason why my top 10 this week was made up of artists i don't ussually listen to a lot (after you take out LC! and Art Brut). That was basically because i've spent the week listening to spotify. Which means i was rediscovering music i may not have listened to for a while, hence a massive upsurge in Kate Nash and The Subways.

Further down it's weird to see my 2 most listened to artists (Monkeys and Milburn) both only has 3 plays each, something that will be rectified this week as i just listened to all my milburn collection today.

Finishing off the pile a little bit of Larkin Love (only cause i like one song), the streets (dry your eyes) and one solidtary Pete and the Pirates song, they supported the Pigeon Detectives when i first saw them. The pigeons aren't even on this list once :O

Albums:

[Note: this is just the top 20]
[Note: This means how many songs have been played from the album, not the album entire]

No suprise to seeing Kate Nash's album top the list (much to my disgust), what's more suprising is to see no Art Brut till 12th, which just proves the amount of Art Brut i have on this computer. White lies album has 25 plays...

Songs:

[Note this is the top "11"]

Of which 10 of them are one song! Price of Love is amazing, and as you can tell, it's my song of the moment. And writing this has just made me listen to it again in the dark, absolutely amazing. Of Mystery Jets 11 plays this month, 7 have been for "Half in Love With Elizabeth" which my mate lizzie dislikes, DESPITE THE SONG BEING ABOUT HER... well it has he name in the title anywho.

The biggest suprise has got to be the wombats song at number 5, i don't even like that song! I think it's just because it's the first song on the album and i listened to that a lot.

Some more STATISTICS
dedicated to Amir

Unique Artists: 23
Total Tracks: 251
Total Plays: 465

This means that's an average of 1.81673307 plays per track
This means that's an average of 10.9130435 tracks per artist.
Which means there's an average of 19.826087 plays per artist.
This means only 6 artists actually got above the average number of plays.

Final Notes on this week:

1) Too much Kate Nash.
2) Not enough Milburn or Arctic Monkeys
3) No pigeon detectives at all

Until next week, bye from The Music Week

==

Right, i know, not funny, but meh. The plan is, you see what i'm listening too and it might encourage you to have a look and broaden your musical horizens, therefore you like more music. Everyone wins. Also it means you can have a look at some of my atrocious music, Kate Nash? Really?

And yes, there will be a blog about the prom. And about saturday, so stop bugging me. I'm not sure when but probably tomorrow. Though i might do one tonight.

Until then.

Chow.

I Found This Song In The Road

2009-06-19T12:47:00.007+01:00

The title of this blog has probably the loosest connection of a blog title that I've ever done, but you know how i can't resist linking to an Art Brut song and that title is a song with the lyrics:

18 messages, saved and unsent,
I wish I knew what some of it meant.
In the morning, finding this in my phone;
It's like finding a song in the road.

You see, this blog is about the bit on your phone most normal people don't use much.

The draft bit.

The draft bit is basically where all your half finished messages are meant to go, and obviously most people aren't retarded enough to have many. I have 13.

But hardly any of these appear to actually be replys, just random stuff saved on my phone for no purpose at all. Yet i can't bring myself to delete them. They might come in handy! And i don't know where any of these actually come from, i can't remember typing them! It's maddness.

Anyways let's have a quick look starting from the bottom up:

1) 82 Holland Street

That's all it says! 82 Holland Street. I don't know whose house it is but a quick search on google maps tells me... that it's near the radcliffe tram stop. So i'm guessing its lizzies house?

But why have i got her address saved into my phone anyway? I've never been round. I don't plan on going round. So why? I think this is just showing my stalkerish credentials tbh.

I'm stalking you apparently Lizzie.
And i keep using this picture as i cant be arsed saving another one
from facebook to use as this is already on my computer.

2) Got Pizza talked to jenni alot as others paired. Caroline.

Now this one i understand, it's about when we went out for lizzies birthday. (Not all my drafts are related to lizzie. Honest!) I think i saved it as i was going to do a blog post about it when i got home.

Before all my loyal fans go "LOL WUT?" and try looking for it, I didn't technically do one. Why?

Well that is a very good question and one probably linked to why i have so many drafts.

Because I'm a lazy bum. Like srsly. I can only write if something grabs me. I've tried writing before when i haven't been in the "zone" and it hasn't ended very well, and those blogs are amongst my worst.

Or it could just be because my blogs were basically just something to do instead of revising or doing school work. And now i've finished school (prom tonight) I ain't that arsed? Who knows. Not me.

But anyways, back on the text. Just to ellaborate for a bit. We met way earlier than the film so i got pizza for my dinner. Twas good, but like i said i ended up spending the time talking to Jenni mainly since there was Scott + Sammy, Jamie + Lizzie, Starkie + Meg. Me and Jenni were like sooooooo. Which was fine but you know.

The film was actually really really freaky :/ I weren't impressed by the 3D bits but i thought it was a good film nonetheless.

Actually a good film.

3) A shopping list

I can't be arsed writing out the whole list but it contains headphones, phone, mp3 player, ps3, 12 games and 12 CDs. I need money.

4) A collection of lyrics

Basically sometimes when i can't sleep (after turning the computer off) i'll listen to my music and write some lyrics in my phone. Why? Cause i'm strange.

5) What's that supposed to meana

I have 2 theorys about this:

1) It's a start of a text to someone
2) It's lyrics from the song "Keep On Your Dress".

TBH it's probably the second. But it begs the question why? Why did i do it on a new text? And why the fuck did i put an a after mean? At least fucking text write Steven.

6) Avril Lavigne. Jamie phitness

Now this actually makes sense. Basically back in the day at school (not really that long ago, but meh it makes me sound old) me and Jamie would discuss how there is a direct colleration between Avril lavegene being hot, and her records being crap.

Thus:

M i rite?
Yes.
It's undeniable.

So why did i save it on my phone? Probably to remind jamie. Which reading this blog will do. So magic!

7) wallet robbed. Not too bad about it. Most reasonable victime eve

I assume i meant to finish that sentence with "ever". Anyways, again, this is another blog i was going to do but didn't get around too.

Basically... last week (i think?) I went and bought an ice cream from the van across the road. But dropped my wallet in the process.

I didn't realise till at 10PM at night. We had a look around the house and deluded it must have been left outside. That means about 5 quid, my debit card, my GAME card, my O2 top up card and about 3 months of reciets were lost. So i was a bit pissed off that night.

Next day though i was fine. And luckily... I FOUND THE WALLET IN THE STREET the next morning.

Yay?

Well sort of. They had robbed everything except my O2 Top Up Card. Which begs a few questions.

1) Who the hell robs reciets?! Seriously!
2) The robbers obviously like games since they robbed the GAME card.
3) They already had a wallet of their own.

Thing is, i'm not too bothered as it was only a fiver, and i've already cancelled the card and got a new one... it only had a tenner on anyways. But you know. Still annoying.

8) Burtons, next, matalan, slators

AAll suggested places of where i could have got my suit from. Courtesy of Ben and Oliver after the Russel Howard stand up (teh funnies).

Why did i need a suit? For a prom... that is tonight. I'm not really excited? I'm pretty sure that's a bad thing and i probably should be. But you know.

I ended up getting it from Matalan btw with my sisters help, cheap as chips. Well no, as they'd have been the most epensive chips ever.

9) Tom. Fulltime Reviewer.

WHAT THE FUCK? Just stumbled across this pic which sums it up:

Made me lol.

10) www.askstew.info

Now this is actually useful. Me and james saw this in a car window up at radcliffe on monday. It appears to be you just go round delievering catalogues for money. Not sure if it'd make money. But hell, i need some so i might give it a try.

11) Only on

Interestingly enough, this message is meant to be sent to lizzie. When did i write it? I don't know. Why did i write it? I don't know. How is the rest of the message supposed to go? Fuck knows.

12) A list of things to blog about

It includes this very blog! And others you might find out about in due course. OOOh the anticiapation.

13) I already have my girl ;D

This is a message i probably should have sent to Lyd 2 hours ago but i got distracted and didn't finish. Basically i'm talking about vickiee, because we were talking about taking people to proms and shit. True story.

Err of the texts anyways.

Tune in next time (Sunday evening most likely) to see a feature that will return EVERY WEEK (maybe)!!!

I bet you can't wait.

Well.

I bet you can.

But fuck you.

ps. adz is poop etc.

Best. Monday. Ever? Well no. But pretty good.

2009-06-16T16:52:00.008+01:00

Firstly.

An apology and a hug:

SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR A WHOLE SCHOOL WEEK (5 DAYS)

That's right i've not updated since thursday the 11th! And even that blog was shite. I dunnoh, i think im suffering from writers block, i've not had massive urges to blog despite things blog worthy happening (my last GCSE, wallet losing, etc.). It's not the same as it was the first month or so where i could blog practically every day, for a variety of reasons really. Err, not sure what those reasons are. But fuck it.

So what's took me out of my deep blog slumber? Just a day hanging out with my mates. Which normally isn't anything amazing, and to be fair it wasn't like Amazing with a capital A, but it was good and it was different.

So what happened?

Well i'm on my summer break now :D 10 weeks of doing fuck all, which while that's good, it can get a bit boring, so i decided i wanted to do something different. Since i don't normally hang out with starkers and james much outta school i decided i'd go see them in sunny radcliffe. The plans were set sunday night for the next day.

What happens to 90% of Radcliffe :(

I set off with printed google map in the back pocket (srsly) at about 5 past 1. It was trying to rain up near our end, but it was really failing, and by the time i was on Hornby Street (Or Horny street as it appears on roadsigns, gotta love subtle graffiti). I updated my twitter at the time saying:
Is on a mamouth walk to see some friends. So far it spitted for a bit but otherwise, hot, humid and very sunny

And it was ridicullously warm. Good walking weather, altough i started to smell a bit... NICELY OBVIOUSLY.

But anyways i got on bolton road, it goes on for fucking ever as noted in this text that i sent to starkers+james+sarah (the people i was planning on meeting later):

This road goes on FOREVER. *dies*

Indeed. This was followed by a twitter update which said:

Just had a dead bird on the pavement. I wanna join. Tis boiling

I'm not sure whether these twitter updates are worth you following me. But fuck it. DO IT. FOLLOW ME.

But anyways i got to james' in one hour 5 minutes. Google maps walking said it'd take me one hour 22, i beat google at something. Pwnt. Me > Google. Err if you ignore the fact they're worth billions of pounds and i'm using a blog site they own to publish my blog anyway.

Seventeen minutes wrong.

I kinda walked past James' house, but he chased me up the street, like some crazy stalker. Man i hate those crazy stalkers :O I get them allllll the time >:{

Anyways, left the house. JUST FOR IT TO START RAINING. Disgrace to be honest. All that time walking there, not raining at all but just as we're all about to start hanging out? Fucking rain.

We knocked on for starkie anyways, james: "Yeah he lives only like 3 corners away." True. But he didnt mention one of those corners were TEN MINUTES AWAY. And i've noticed i've used a lot of CAPITALS for EFFECT so far. I'll sort IT OUT.

Anyways we got to starkies. On his door it said "Burgulars beware! We are postcoded". What the fuck does that mean?! Of course you're fucking postcoded! You're a house on a fucking street! That'd be like me going: "Smelly people beware. I have a nose!" It's common fucking sense!

Burgulars beware! We are postcoded!

Wait actually, i've thought of another flaw in Starkies doors logic. What type of burgular fucking reads the door?! Sure they might go to try to open it, but it'd be too dark for them to read. That'd be like me sticking a note on my forehead that says "Blind people beware! I'm going to kick your dog". HOW THE FUCK WOULD THEY KNOW?!

Sorry i'm capitalising for emphaise there again. But srsly. Stupid people can be stupid. I'm not dissing Starkies mum and dad here, cause i quite like 'em, but seriously, think about it.

Anyways, starkie came out (looking like a chav), we had to check the windows as he was stupid enough to leave one open round the back. Almost as clever as his mum and dad.

Anyways. We went out in the rain (still warm though) and knocked on for Sarah. Starkie used to hang out with her back when they were little 'uns (people thought they were going out they hung around so much, bless.) but hadn't for years. Me and James had talked to her on facebook/msn, i think we got talking during easter sometime on a late night binge.

Anyways, i use anyways to start paragraphs too much :/ But yeah she wasn't in, so we headed back down the street. And i found the best thing i've ever seen.

It was just a stick. But it was epic. It was thick and long (like something else i own, natch). I kept old of it for ages, it came in handy as you'll see later. Man. I'm such a tease.

Then starkie went "MONGY JESS!" and we decided to knock on for her. But not before i went into a shop and bought blue doritos (mmmmm), some sweets and oasis. The oasis said like 93p on it. I paid a quid. WTF! Fucking shop robbing bastards. I know there's meant to be a recession on and shit but fucking hell. 7P! Disgusting.

We got to jess' house... there's a sign next to it that says "PEACE", i lol'd. And then, neighbourhood watch came out in force. A guy across the road went "can i help you?". The answer was no, i'm not knocking on for you. But we're nice and went "yeah is jess in?". He went "No, she's at school."

Obviously not, since we go the same school. Useless Neighbourhood watch is useless.

Not even a watch.
I should probably inform the trade descriptions act.
Nah.

I got a text from sarah saying knock on in about half an hour so we took a long way round so all was not lost, it wasn't going to end up being a testostarone filled day after all ^_^

We went the long way round through a field. We had been playing yellow car all this time (you know, you see a yellow car, you shout "yellow car" and hit someone?), James got me. Not good. I had a stick in my hand. A hard one. Next thing he knows? "YELLOW CAR", i chase him and whack him harder than i wanted to do. He has a massive bruise. It's cause you're black innit. At least it had stopped raining by this point.

Anyways, it was about half 3 and we were walking up past starkies old school. The name escapes me. Cause it's shit. Anyways it turns out Sammy Palmer designed the school badge. They didn't allow starkies. Cause it was shit. But still. No fair. I was going to get an ice cream. But they looked shit. Everythings shit. This has been the emo paragraph of this blog.

Anyways we knocked on for Sarah. She came out (of the closet hehehehe), it wasn't awkward as she was quite cool and fitted in well with us 3. Not calling her a boy or anything, she just did >_> She creeped us out a bit discussing body parts inappropriately, wait no that was us 3, but she didnt seem to mind too much.

We ended up standing on a street corner for a bit before realising no one was going to pay us for sex. Which is a fucking outrage as i'd pay me for sex! Wouldn't you?

Yes. Yes you would.

We then stood under a bus stop. This is all sounding rather chavvy now. And to be fair. Starkie was dressed like one. But the awesomeness of me and james and - to a lesser extent - sarah saved us from being typical Radcliffe scum (I'm Walmersley Scum after all).

It was good timing as it started pissing it down. So we chilled there till it stop. I broke my stick so accidently hit a car with it when i got rid of it. Fortunately, i didnt get run over. RESULT.

We headed to the park. Sarah offered me a piggy back (and no thats not an inyourendo) which i accepted. I weighed "nothing" and she managed easy. Until James jumped on and ruined it, with us all ending up on the floor (i think). We got back up, dusted off and went on the park for aaaaaaaaaaages. We're so kiddy. Fun though:

Chances of BNP using this in a promotional video called "What we want to happen"?
97.12248857858633%

And then we parted ways. Sarah and Starkie went back for tea. I bought some chippie.

SHITTEST CHIPS EVER. Again sorry for the capitals for emphais, but fucking hell. Biggest waste of four pound ten pence since Bury bought Jake Speight. Random Bury FC metaphor GET!

I went to eat the, HURRENDOUS chips at james' while he had some french toast. I made a mess of his kitchen. Sorry about that.

Other things that are CRAP as that? Boys blowdrying their hair. So so gay. My mate Adz does it and it's probably the gayest thing you can do. Seriously. REAL MEN LET THEIR HAIR DRY. REMEMBER THAT.

Just no.

However! The day wasn't over! We went back out. Well me and james did. As did starkie. Sarah being the massive SELLOUT that she is, didn't, she had "other people" to go out with. Pfft, other people? Who are they? Obscure Television Football Advert Referance GET.

We went playing the fussball. Was good. I lost to starkie however. For a vairety of reasons.

1) James is shit in net
2) I had blisters
3) I had no shoes on
4) Grass was slippy
5) I'd been on my feet ALL DAY
6) I let him win.

I beat james though, was very funny XD Cause he's shit at football.
We then tried headers and volleys. It was crap. But nevermind.
And then i went home.

Yeah i think i got bored of doing the blog right at the end there.

But i'll leave you with an image, you'll never be able to forget:

Good night.

double you, double you, double you dot...

2009-06-11T17:16:00.005+01:00

First off, please note the links to the right *points finger*

That's right! If you ever want to get to know me EVEN MORE (bah gawd) you can "follow" me on twitter, see what i'm listening too via lastfm and even add me on facebook!

Though considering most of you read this blog via the links on facebook i doubt that ones going to be used a lot but you know, for those of you who stumble across this through the so called "blogsphere" there you go.

So are these sites any good?

Twitter

When i first got twitter i wrote (on this very blog): Official Ste verdict? It's shit. Now, unlike politicians i'm not scared to eat my words (or answer a question, look at this bloody brilliant piece of video, don't vote conservative folks) and say, actually. It's not bad. When you first join, your on your own. No one follows you, you dont follow anyone. It's like when you go to a new school, you don't know anyone, it's more scary than going into moss side at 2AM.

There's 2 ways you deal with the problem. Either run away and stay alone on it, or get involved. I got involved... mainly cause i was bored and staying up late, but meh, I STILL GOT INVOLVED. And the point is, once you get going on it. It's quite good.

Basically, it's facebook status'... yeah that sounds shit. But you can follow people... FAMOUS people/bands. Like Eddie Argos or Los Campesinos!... if you don't know who those 2 are:
1) Listen to better music
2) Read my blogs more as i mention them all the time.

Anyways, you can also follow anti-facist organisations (like this, this and this) which is what i have been doing, i knew where and when they were going to protest, BNP must be stupid, just follow those twitters and you can find out what they're planning on doing! C'mon if a million people voted for a party who didnt figure that out, i should get at least four million votes. Right?

Oh and you can also follow your friends... but none of mine ever update. So i'm asking YOU, get twitter and update.

Also. I've communicated with Eddie Argos through it. I sent him a message saying:
@EddieArgos Dunnoh if you'd approve but i've got loads people writing "ART BRUT TOP OF THE POPS" on our exam tables in school...

He replied saying:
@buryfanste I approve.

Awesome. Proof

And just cause of that?

Out of 10

LAST FM

Last.fm isn't a site i've really mentioned on this blog up till now, and i'm not sure why as it's bloody brilliant. It is absolutely fantastic.

Let me explain, basically it "scrobbles" what you listen too. Basically this means, whenever you play music on your computer, be it on itunes, windows media player, spotify, whatever. It records what you're listening to and puts it on your page.

This means 2 things.

Firstly, you can keep track of what you listen to and how much you listen to it. Think you like a certain band the most? Well if you install this, you might find you actually listen to another band more. This means if you've had it for over a year like me, you can look back and see what shit you used to listen to and how much of it (I've listened to Kate Nash 69 times appropriately enough! If you know what i mean...).

Secondly, after you've listened for a while. It's got a collection of what you like. You can then go on your "recommeneded radio station" which is full of tracks by artists you might never of heard of. It's how i discovered Art Brut and Los Campesinos! amongst others. And for that i'm forever grateful.

However

It does has it's downsides. For someone like me who doesn't listen to music on my computer much any more - too shit memory, too shit speakers, etc. - and listen to music mainly off my mp3 player, phone and stereo, well obviously it doesn't work as well.

If you have an ipod it can keep track of how much you play on there too, however i'm much too working class and northern to afford an ipod. If you know me, you know my mp3 player currently is kept together by a mixture of blu-tac, an elastic band and some selotape which says it all!

But still. It's rather good. That's why i'm giving it...

Out of 10

Facebook

Wow, what can be said about this that's not been said before? It is a massively powerful beast these days. Who remembers the days where myspace was the biggest social network sight *puts hand up*. Facebook really has exploded, and i think the question is why?

It's basically a site where people put pictures up and tell every other sad fucker that's all on day what they're thinking about right now.

Status updates range from music ones:
Here's another song about a gender i'll never understand... (8)
to school ones:
no more exams...waheyyy :)
to random ones:
has just finished watching 'A Goofy Movie', but hates his eyes! :\

Reading that, think about it, why the fuck is facebook so popular? Yes the pictures are great to keep track of awesome moments - without having to go round to someone's house like in the old 'un days - but what else?

I think it's just cause it's addictive. I mean, really it's nowt special. I hated it first few days, but after that. I'm a complete facebook addict. It's actually shit though.

HOWEVER! It's because of facebook that i started blogging so it's not that bad... right? RIGHT?
I'll give it:

I'm not quite sure what the point of this blog post was but meh. WHATEVER TREVOR.

Btw, i only have one exam left and i'm free :D

Bye people <3

ps. adz is a poop

geeee-ceeee-esssss-eeeee's

2009-06-10T17:40:00.007+01:00

So it's June the 10th, i'm listening to the pigeon detectives, trying to convince my girlfriend not to cut her hair (i failed), discussing the political situation with jamie, telling amir to stop bitching and wondering if ryan lowe is any good. All whilst writing a blog.

But i shouldn't be doing any of that, i should be doing one thing. And one thing only:

Revising.

No i haven't Mr Fridge.

Y'see, i have only 2 GCSE's (Ginormously crappy stupid exams) left. History and Biology. And whilst everyone knows im going to fail bilogy so hard that mr hauxwell might actually stop eating for a moment, i actually want to get an A in history. So i should probably be looking at the "roaring twenties", the weinmark republic, nazi germany and roosevelt.

But i'm not.

Why?

It's a connundrum. Because what i always say about why i dont revise is "it doesn't interest me, i can't motivate myself" which is true. But i like history. I enjoy it. Even these bits that people find boring. I find it hard to believe people thought America was good despite 49% below the porverty line, that the nazi's got into power democratically (*coughBNPcough*), how they treated the jews, how roosevelt tried bits of socialism which despises the left so much that it's actually un-fucking-belivable.

Maybe it's cause i know it all?

I don't think so though. I think its due to the internet being such a good distractor, the fact that i've had so many exams already and generally because i'm an idiot.

I'm as stupid as i look apparently.

So how have my exams been going?

Alright, in my English exam, i wrote how i was 17 year old Peter Williams. I had just passed my driving test, it ended with me drink driving and killing 2 of my best friends. I hope the examier sees it as a disturbed indivudals brilliant piece of intriguing and different work. But i won't hold my breath.

Physics was solid today however.

The main news story of the GCSEs for me hasn't even been about the exams. It's been about a simple slogan: "Art Brut. TOP OF THE POPS" Me and a band of other graffeti artists have been writing it on our exams every test we have. I have had... 3 people i think, say that they had it on their exam table. I'm counting that as a victory.

Like this. But on an exam table. And better.

In other news, i've started coming out in spots, which is relatively strange for me since i don't normally get many. My mum suggested exam stress before remembering i'm so laid back about it i'm horizontal. She suggested lack of fruit. Maybe she's right? Or is it just another case of people trying to make people eat healthy?

You tell me.

Bais.

ps. small blog this time. just wanted to write something less angsty >_>

Politics

2009-06-08T21:40:00.004+01:00

[SERIOUS BLOG AHEAD]

Let's be honest here there was only ever going to be one thing this blog would be about. I've really tried not to go on a rant about politics too much on these blogs for a variety of reasons:

1) Most of you are below the age of 18, you can't vote, why should you care?
2) These blogs are meant to be a laugh, sure laughs that include a lot of my highly charged opinions but laughs nonetheless.
3) I have SUPER strong political views that most of you would probably disagree with and i don't think you really want to listen to that
4) No one cares about politics, do they?

Well, yeah they do.

You care about anything the goverment spends money on? You care about politics basically. Want peadophiles hung? That's politics. (I don't personally btw) Want tighter immigration? That's politics. Want your parents to get taxed less? That's politics. Want better hospitals? That's politics. Want the drinking age lowered? Politics. Want price of cigarretes to come down? Politics. Want to drive at 16? Politics. Want more parks or fields or open areas? Politics, politics, politics.

You see you do care. It's just a dirty word in society, esspecially teenage soceity where it's percieved as boring. And let's be honest here. A lot of it is.

Results nights aint though.

Which it was last night. Since this was the first elections i've properly looked into (bar Obama's last year) i had my BBC News 24 on and watched the results roll in.

I saw Labour getting pummelled. I saw UKIP getting more MEPS. I saw Tories doing pretty much the same. And unfortuantely, i saw the BNP get 2 MEPs (basically members of european parliment).

Now, why is this bad? Basically. It's a racist party. Now if you've read any of my previous blogs on racism (see here and here) you know i'm anti it. Lets quote someone who can write a hell of a lot better than i can for a minute:

1) Andrew Brons, now a member of European Parliament for Yorkshire and Humber was a member of a Neo-Nazi organisation until the age of 17, a prominent member of the National Front and led a march in Leeds in the 80s where he chanted, “white power,” and “death to Jews.”

2) Nick Griffin, the leader of the BNP and now an MEP for the North West region was also a member of the National Front and in 1998 was convicted of incitement to racial hatred, as editor of racist magazine ‘The Rune’, whilst also denying the Holocaust and again being charged with racial hatred in 2005.

3) Both of these are just the public face of an organisation that has, time and time again been exposed to be an inherently racist, homophobic, anti-semitic political party. There is no getting away from it, whatsoever.

Now, why did they get voted in then? What possed people to vote for them?

A few things:

1) Anger at political system
2) Anger at unemployment

Now, for those of us did history for GCSE, why did Hitler get voted in? Because people were angry. Y HELLO DARE HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF.

But the thing is. This isn't because more people are voting for them, actually the opposite! 6'900 people LESS actually voted for BNP in the elections 5 years ago than now, but they got in cause people weren't voting.

Apathy.

People who didn't vote are to blame here. If they had got out and voted, we wouldnt have the BNP in. Now i personally hate the conservatives more than i hate like something bad, but i'd rather have people out there voting for them than staying at home not voting.

Your votes count people. Your vote counts. Look at the slim numbers that got BNP this time. What if just another 100.000 went and voted? We wouldnt have this problem.

People moan there isn't really a difference. But there is.

Of the 5 parties running yesterday who weren't BNP, there was difference. People should have voted. For a very simplified review here we go:

1) Conservatives - Want us to be less involved in the EU
2) Labour - Want us to say as involved
3) Lib Dems - More pro-EU than the other 2.
4) UKIP - Want us out of the EU which wouldn't help but meh >_>
5) Greens - Green ideas.

Sure personally i wouldnt vote for Tories or UKIP, but they're both better than BNP.

The point is.

Always vote. Always. Even when you're annoyed at the goverment, it is a massive right and freedom to have a vote. People did a lot for you to get a vote, esspecially if you're a woman, look at the suffragettes.

And it does matter. Your vote always counts. Even if you're just going to vote for an independent or hell, even the "Christian Republic", get out there and vote. Just aslong as it's not a party that would kick black people out of the country if they commit any crime... ie. the BNP.

I know this blog isn't interesting, maybe you don't care. But please, when you can. Vote.

America = Idiots

2009-06-06T23:31:00.007+01:00

First off. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LIZZIE :D

Did u c wt i did dare with the title?
Cuz there's that greenday album named AMERICAN IDIOT. bwahahaha.
Srsly, what kind of name is "Greenday" for a band? It sounds like a slogan for the green party. Make your vote, a greenvote. Coincidentally, my parents voted for them in the euro elections! Which i find understandable as they like protest voting against labour and are more proEU than like anyone in the UK ever.
Anyways before i go rambling on about politics and boring you all to death lets move swiftly on...

Loved that show. So much so i used the words:
"Moving swiftly on",
JUST TO SHOW THIS. Bah gawd.

To be fair, the title of this blog isn't exactly true. It should simply read, idiots = idiots. Which is pretty obvious to most people so why am i deciding to go on about it now?

Because of this.

Now abortion is pretty personal opinions, and very very highly charged topic, and i don't particularly want to go into it here. Personally, i'm pro-choice. Women should be allowed to choose, people should be allowed to choose. I'm pro-life in, i don't want abortions, but i'm not going to go all Nazi and say it should be banned. Wtf has it got to do with me?

I respect pro-life people, i just think they take the high moral ground and piss on anyone who disagrees. Sometimes it isn't that simple. Look, read this heart renching article. Who could say this family did wrong?

Some people i suppose would say so, and call it murder. Which is fair enough.

But for fucks sake, if it's murder, and you're moaning about murder. You dont go fucking murdering someone. Two wrongs don't make a right!

He was doing his job. You shouldn't be attacking him, you should be attacking the system. It fucking amazes me how christians can do this kind of shit. Have they ever read the bible? Do they not listen to Jesus.

Again, i am being very very... like sweeping in my statements here. Of course, 90% of christians probably think he didnt deserve to die and wish he wasnt. But the 10% scare me. You're using your religion for the wrong fucking reasons! Your no better than muslim extremists. Your still murdering for your faith. A faith which tells you not too. So much hipcroacy its unbelivable.

Add in the fact the guy was shout, OUTSIDE his church. The mind fucking boggles. It fucking boggles.

So why americans? Why blame americans?

Gun culture:

They're bad, mmkay?

You see, in America in their constitution they have perhaps the stupidest, stupidest line ever which is something along the lines of "citizens have the right to own guns for self defense". Fair enough. Sounds alright. Until you fucking realise this means guns are easier to get.

Think about it. Think of all the college and school shootings in america. Think of them here. There hasn't been one since they changed the law to ban them all. That says it all.

People laugh as our police don't carry guns. That's a good thing, it makes me feel better about our country that we're civilised enough, even as criminals, not to carry guns about. Sure they still get to criminals, but a hell of a lot less than in the US. Sort it out.

BUT!

In a different news story, some hope has been rekindled.
Some gay penguins are raising babies. I love animalkind.

I love penguins.
Even gay ones.

And now for the 3rd time!

WE BRING BACK A REOCCURING FEATURE!

Let's see how these (coupled with people voting conservative despite the fact david cameron is the most slimey bastard to have ever walked this earth) have effected SFIHC/G/L/T:

Actually gone up despite this? Yes, because i'm in a good mood. I'm waiting till the european elections results come in and i find out BNP has got lots of votes before my faith drops to 3.65%

In other news a shocking discovery was on the plate in belgium the other day:

Good night.

ps. adz gave me the cake picture
pps. deep blog again :/ I should probably stop.
ppps. 2 blogs in 2 days. Magic.

Dear Ste, I can't sleep... what can i do?

2009-06-05T22:33:00.002+01:00

Now this isn't a question i get asked a lot (ie. ever) but i think i'm the perfect person to answer this question. Well not the perfect person, James corderio might be slightly better placed than me as he is normally a bit more "hardcore".

Hardcore in what way i hear you ask?

Well first up look at this picture:

Secondly, he stays up later. If you want to read more about James Corderioio just read this blog here. It was the second i ever did, and tbh, i think it's my coming out of the closet for him. I mean phwoar, look at him. You know you would ladies (and amir ;])

Because, as the title suggests. This is advice for people who are as bigger insomniacs as me. I'm quite a big one tbh. It started mid-feburary where i was a tad upset so didnt want to lie in bed for ages generally being a massive sissy. So i stayed online till i was so tired i fell right asleep. See, even when i'm down, i'm a genius. Ish.

Anyways, since then. I can't stop. I'm like a crack addict, except instead of looking like, this:

I look like this:

Aww, my heart is melting.
With spite. I hope it dies.

Anyways, to answer the question. Here we go:

"Dear Avid Reader,

There isn't a one word answer to that question, it depends on many many different things.

Firstly, what day is it? Is it a monday? Because if it is, no one's likely to be online... unless there's no school the next day. Then EVERYONE is online. Basically because they think... "I'm up at 2am on a monday night. I'M HARD" newsflash people. Your not, unless you decide to take one of my later advice...

You see. If you're on the computer late at night, you're presumeably a bit of a geek. Well not a geek but like well, like being on the computer. Cause think about it. If you can't sleep surely it'd be better idea to watch tv/film or listen to music?

But no you're on the computer. On msn and facebook probably bored out of your skull. Your probably talking to someone you kind of like but you'd much rather not be talking to them and y'know, sleeping.

It won't happen.

So here's a list of things you can do:

1) Start a blog and name it something so big headed and pretentious it's unbeliveable. And yet. People will still read it.

The best website on the world wide web was a product of late night boredom

2) Go on myspace and listen to new bands, then realise that most of them are shit. Sure you'll uncover one or two, but then they'll just suck your money when you go watch them I have 12 myspaces bookmarked on here (of new bands) and some more added as friends on myspace. Yes I have myspace.

3) Go on twitter and see what famous people (ie. your brother whose famous for like. Playing songs and talking... ON THE RADIO) are up to. Then get it yourself. Yes, i have twitter. Is there any sight on the internet i haven't graced with my presense?

Official Ste verdict?
It's shit.

4) Do something more constructive. Write a story? I wrote a story in my english exam, you were meant to describe a car journey. So i did that. I was driving, my name was Peter Williams. I had just passed my test. It started out nice enough but it ended with me drink driving and killing my 2 best friends and me confessing in court. Awesome. I'd give myself an A*.

5) Plan something.

6) Send stupid emails/texts to random people. Sure it seems like a good idea to text your best friends mother and tell them "i've always loved you, i think your sexy". But it isn't. Errr.... or i assume it isn't *shiftys*

7) Do something more enjoyable. Hint hint (like play a game. I recomend "The Last Stand", or the sequel: "The Last Stand 2". What an imagitive name. Srs)

8) Think of things to do when you're still up late.

Hope that helps!

Love, Ste. x"

And there you go.

True story, i started this blog 2 weeks ago. Never finished it. As i was looking to make a blog (FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A WEEK!!!) i saw this and finished it. Can you pinpoint the moment where i started writing today?

I hope so.

Anyways, apologies for not updating in a week. First time in june this blog! I've had too many GCSEs and i've been revising hard... BWAHAHAHAHAHAH.

:|

Anyways.

I leave you with a picture of me. Thinking.

'Hmm, should i have KFC or McDonalds for dinner?'

Bye.

ps. adz etc.
pps. remind me to talk about twisted wheel/los campesinos in a newer blog

Ste are the champions my friends

2009-05-29T02:30:00.006+01:00

And ste'll keep on fighting - till the end -
Ste are the champions -
Ste are the champions
No time for LIZZIES
'Cause ste are the champions - of the world -

I've taken my bows
And my curtain calls -
You brought ste fame and fortune and everything that goes with it -
I thank you all -
But it's been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise -
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race -
And I ain't gonna lose -

Ste are the champions - my friends
And ste'll keep on fighting - till the end -
Ste are the champions -
Ste are the champions
No time for LIZZIES
'Cause ste are the champions - of the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I BEAT LIZZIE AT MINESWEEPER!!!!

Fat men everywhere rejoiced.

In perhaps one of the biggest upsets since the time dawn of time, Steven Crossley - writer, creator, editor of this very blog - beat Elizabeth Rachel Blower (Call her EARL) at minesweeper.

A game loved by millions

Lizzie thought she was great. She was wrong. After a few warm up games to get us going that no one cares about, me and lizzie decided to have the fnal match. Winner takes all.

I won ^_^

I was a bit happy :D

Lizzie however, wasnt:

Look how upset she is :(

I have a EXLUSIVE interview with the loser of the competition, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! (choon that btw)

Champion (Me): HOW ARE YOU
Loser (Lizzie): sad
Champion: CAUSE YOU'RE A LOSER?
Loser: you beat me how do you want me to feel! over the moon!? uber happy?! no dude.
Champion: what would you do differently next time?!
Loser: hmm thats a tricky one but i must honestly say there is nothing i could do differently, my hand slipped and i clicked the wrong box by accident which opened up a million others for steben to collect, bad times. maybe i could get a stick like them ones you get when you play pool to steady your cue but for my arm instead? (:
Champion (Me): Maybe. And will you retire from minesweeper?
Loser: definately not. Minesweeper is my pride and joy.

That she lost at.
Of course everyone wants to know what the winner thinks so:

Blogger (Me): Hey how you?
Champion (Me): Over the fucking moon mate!
Blogger: They said it couldn't, wouldn't be done, but you went and did it! Did you always believe?
Champion: Deep down yes, some people say they're born to do this and that. I was born to do this. Nothing in my life will top this.
Blogger: So are you going to kill yourself then?
Champion: I could do, but its not on the to do list at the moment.
Champion: Lots of partys i assume?
Blogger: Oh aye, get the booze on :D You can come if you want!
Champion: I think i will. Will you retire?
Blogger: Well i've reached the pinacle of my career, where do i go from here?
Champion: Good question. BTW, did you notice we swapped champion and blogger reader? If you didnt, you dont read hard enough.
Blogger: Well said.

What an amazing night. Better than sex*.

SEE YOU ALL AROUND

*might not be true, but better than any sex i've had. As i'm a virgin. Natch.

PS. shout out to ollie and amir who were also up at the time.

The Big Dilemna

2009-05-28T15:40:00.003+01:00

This blog is about the monumentral decision that often changes peoples lives. Whether for worse, or for better. It's the moment in your life where everything stops. Your mind goes blank. Your heart stops (metaphorically, you dont die of a heart attack). You start shaking and have to sit down.

That's write. This blog is about:

HOW TO DISPOSE OF CEREAL

Don't understimate it. Now i'm not talking about what to do when you have a little bit of cereal left at the bottom of the box and you dont know what to do. I mean the obvious answer there is mix it with your other cereals to create some kind of super Coco Crunchy Nut Shreddies Nuggets cereal. Sure it'd kill your teeth. But man it'd be sexy:

Now. Mix them together.
Awesome?
Yes.

But back to the monumental decision.

It's when, you've been eating cereal, it's quite nice. But then you get full!
Now with most foods, this is no problem. You can just pour it away. But with cereal? Well, just look...

Mmmm, milk and cereal, yes?

Yes OM NOM NOM, cereal. But like i said, your full. So how the fuck do you dispose.

You have 2 options here:

1) Pour it in the bin
2) Pour it in the sink.

Now first off, what is the bin for? Waste products/food right? SOLID waste products/food. Now, milk, is a liquid. And technically a drink, so neither solid or a waste food. So it shouldnt go in the bin.

But then again, the sink isn't for cereal either. It'd clog the plug socket and everyone would drown in your house, and it'd be your fault.

So what do you do?

Now you could put the milk in the bin, but if it comes to taking the rubbish out. Urgh. MESS IMMINENT.

Or you could pick the bits of cereal out of the plug socket. Yeah, that's a great job genius, get all the ladies doing that |:

So what do you do? You agnoise. For ages. Which makes it worse as the cereal has gone even soggier. You begin to panic and cry. And then you do what i do. Leave it at the side for mum.

IN OTHER NEWS:

My eyesight has got better?
How the fuck is this possible can i ask?
How the fuck does that make sense. Now most things only get better with plenty of rest, and i haven't been walking around with my eyes closed so that cant be it.
I don't fucking understand that, i mean seriously, how can they get better? Logic and just plain knowlledge says that shouldnt be possible, they're meant to get worse the older you get!
Who the fuck knows?
Not me, i aint complaing though. Well i am cause it makes NO SENSE, but im happy about it.

This picture scares me for some reason.

Also, i've managed to get on the guestlist for another Twisted Wheel gig. Another? I hear you ask. Yes, i've already seen them 3 times, supporting the enemy, HMV instore and Academy. But still, this means i can go see them again. Woo.

The thing is, the gig is the day before my chemistry and english paper 2 tests, which really makes you think whether i should go or not. I've decided i'm going to:

1) Too take my mind off them all
2) i'll have subitably revised enough before hand anyway... (THIS COUNTS AS ENGLISH REVISION, BECAUSE I'M WRITING TO INFORM, M I RITE? YES YES YES >:{ )
3) James would kill me if i didn't.
4) It'll actually be quite good.

So yeah, should be good.

Sorry this blog has been shit. Here's a pic of well

ps. adz etc etc

Big Bangs Make Big Explosions

2009-05-25T22:05:00.005+01:00

I seriously wonder whether world leaders read this blog, just to give me something to rant about.

Look here

First off, is it wrong that my second thought was "Thank you evil communist state for being such twats and therefore breaking my writers block"?

Anyways. Basically super secretive, super shit, super scary state North Korea has decided to conduct a little experiment. Now this isn't an experiment Mr Cohen would conduct in his class ("AGREED!"), this was a little more upmarket. Now i know the explosions cohen makes with some magnesium and some acid are spectacular... they don't quite make this:

Oooh a pretty mushroom.
Oh wait.

That's right! North Korea conducted a nucleur explosion underground. Wooo go them?

Errr no.

Nucleur bombs - much like drugs - are bad, mmkay?

There's no way around it tbh. Basically they blow up, kill millions of people, and give millions more radiation for the next hundred of years. Sure that'd win you a war... but if the other side have them too, you'd both end dead.

Therefore, they're pointless.

So why does North Korea want them? Because. Stupid people are stupid.

Well. No shit.

Again they've fired some more nucleur bombs today.
And its like whats the point? No one is going to trade with you so you're going to die. It looks like they're after respect, but im going to go teachery here, you get more respect helping people than you do bullying them.

I mean, one country sells you food. The other points a bomb at you, who are you going to like moar. Erm i wonder.

It's just stupid. Why can't we all get along?

Because people fucking suck.

Let's see how this has affected SFIHC/G/L/T:

YES! A REOCCURING FEATURE!

However, it would be at 10% but 90% of trains are on time in the UK. Public transport wins back my heart again... okay 8.64% of my faith. But shush its the same thing.

In other news, i have a new love.

This person is amazing, sexy, awesome and a brilliant kisser.
BEHOLD:

Less than three him tbh.

Also. It's the... fourth day of half term! And i'm enjoying it, i've had 2 good chilling days, and 2 good days with the vickiee. My sister is home from uni for a bit as well. All good.

Revision? What revision? Yes. Much like easter... i haven't done much. Worried?

Well kind of. I've sorted out my reviison now, so i know what to revise and stuff. Its just finding the drive/time.

Anywho.
How's your half terms going people?
Anyone want to do anything?

Chow.

Christianity.

2009-05-24T00:06:00.004+01:00

WARNING:

This blog is very very opinion full. Not all of this is true, hell i might not think the same in a week. But at this moment in time this is how i feel. I'm not out to offend anyone, and anytime i use a "risque" statement i back it up with links. Thank you.

I wanted to blog about blackpool but i really dunnoh, i'm struggling. So it was good. Here's a pic that pretty much sums it up:

Horrible, wet, disgusting, awesome, amazing.

Also, i HAVE to get this photo in:

Just lol.

So yeah the inspiration for this blog was this article right here

I loved the "Adam and Eve, NOT Adam and Steve" slogan there.

Basically a gay minister wants to be officially accepted. And there's a massive ho-har about it all... [BREAKING NEWS. HE GOT IN] Now in my opinion being gay is right, its just like having a leg, boobs, bum or foot fetish *coughstarkiecough*, but with cocks as the fetish instead. It's not for me personally but i aint got owt against it.

Though i find this story hilarious. Basically christianity says:

"Dont have bum sex... you can think that way, just dont do it".

Which basically means a lot of the priests who touch up kids are going to hell. The bible says:

"Don't get divorced and don't lie".

The minister has done all these things. So surely he shouldnt be allowed in by their rules? Well no. He should be by using the logic of like tolerance and shit. But not by the bible.

However a lot of the bible is getting thrown out of the window recently. Evolution? It happened apparently. Of course that was the old pope. The new Pope is a bit of an idiot, he believes that condoms make AIDs worse. Does he understand how condoms work? Then again this was a guy who was in the hitler youth so don't believe everything he says. (Admittedly he refused to go so he didnt believe in it, basically because he's not a racist bastard.)

Look now i'm looking very anti-christian. I'm really not, i'm going out with a catholic for fucks sake. I think christianity is pretty sound tbh. I mean the 10 commandments basically make up logic/being nice, bar the one about Gods name in vain and the sabbath one and stuff.

Logic and Acceptance.
NOT
being a homophobic old woman.

To be fair, that Jesus guy was quite nice. I mean he was tolerant and stuff and that's pretty much what i strive to be. Of course, i'm not going to be overhyped into someone who cures blindness and walks on water, because that bit - i'm sorry - was bullshit. Look, i don't really believe in God. Well actually i don't care either way, but I doubt there is. So although i don't believe Jesus was the son of God and came back to life (I'd believe it if someone told me he got the kiss of life and was electrecuted back like those machines) i do believe he tried his best.

Right, this blog hasn't been very funny, but tbh. I didnt want it to be. Cause this is serious business. The point i'm trying to make is, people choose their relgion (or brainwashed into it) wheras people don't choose their sexuality (it might be effected by stuff that happens to them though). So please please christians, don't be harsh, be nice, and you know Jesus like; tolerant.

Thank you.

Also. I fear for the future:

"Which pedal do i push?"

Night.

ps. adz = contereversy
pps. sorry if i've offended you but that's how i feel

The end of 04-09...

2009-05-21T17:58:00.009+01:00

So yes. It's official.
We've left.
Well, i have to be in tomorrow for a german exam, and then it was half term anyway and we've got fuck loads of exams and a leavers assembley... but still.
We've left.

And it was the biggest anti-climax since the end of war of the worlds.
I got out of a media exam - think i did alright, i mean come on, who wouldnt watch a quiz show hosted by Myleene Klass? I hope my examier would at least - and Miss heath told us. Then we was let out. But i have german tomorrow so had to go german revison. It was very weird, didnt see many people, got a few hugs off all i did see, but still. Strange.

It just doesn't feel like it's over. I don't think it's sunk in. I aint cried, and tbh i dont think i will. I had a bit of a :/ stage but thats as bad as i've got.

I mean how can you be completely pleased at leaving a school which gives you such things as thus:

Answer?
You can't.

It's a bit like. Having a pack of biscuits and you've got through all but the last 3 biscuits. You don't want to take all 3 as that's greedy so you just have the 2 leaving the lonely biscuit, for one more nice moment. Than lonely biscuit is our exams and leavers assembley.

School = a pack of busicuits. Which begs the question, which type?

A chocolate digestive?
Hobnob?
Custard cream?

All we know is, NOT A JAFFA CAKE BECAUSE JAFFA CAKES AREN'T BISCUITS.
fact.

But seriously for a minute, i havent loved every moment at derby, but the past 2 years have been very good, and i thank everyone who's been part of that. Even if you are all chocolate digestives :P

In completely unrelated news, i got pwnt by my past self. Basically you can send emails to yourself, but like at a certain date. By using this site. I used it on the 29th december 2008 to send this little gem:

Dear FutureMe,
Still with meg? 
Or did it crash and burn because of me being an idiot?
Who knows?
Errr you.
Btw im watching cloverfield.
Has mark moved out yet?
Happy birthday starkie as well

Ste.

Answers in this order:
No, yes.
I do know.
Good film, i remember watching it that night, everyone had gone out and i was in the front room.
Yes he has.
AND INDEED HAPPY BIRTHDAY STARKIE =D

Yes its starkies birthday.

A quick biography of starkie:
Born a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away. In his past life he was known as Hitler (and indeed got a card today showing his nazi germany roots) but in this one, his mum called him Andrew Starkie. Dude... dude i say dude too much. I blame a combination of Vickiee and finding nemo. Namely vickiee though :P

Anyways yes. Starkie went to school somewhere. Did some shit. Went to high school. Met this awesome guy called Ste. They co-founded the "chill out zone", what an amazing little place, at the end of year 7 and been mates ever since. Sure hes not as cool as me in anyway, but he's starkie so you know. We put up with him. Been failing with girls for a couple of years now, had a quick flinge with jess which was shorter than his penis, but thats it... though he has got something that might be going on at the moment... good luck with that mate (Y)

But yeah, he loves football, music, girls and inbetweeners... christ he's me :O But yeah. Good guy. 16 today. Safe badmans (as james would say).

The one in the middle (I actually love this photo so much, hence why i've used it twice)

Isn't he... sexy? Answers on a postcard ladies.

But yes.
I want to send another futureme email. And this time.
I want YOU TO DECIDE.
Yes, you decide when i send it too and what i put in it.

So come on post your ideas.

See you next time.

PS. adz = post your idea
PPS. Seriously, all of you, post your ideas of what i could send
PPPS. My year 11. Love all of you.
PPPPS. Well some of you.
PPPPPS. Well only a handful.
PPPPPPS. I like most of the rest though.
PPPP*gets shot*

My Faith In Humanity Can Now Be Offically Charted

2009-05-20T22:29:00.007+01:00

Today.
Today was early finish, this is where we leave an hour earlier, I'd rather have study leave. See HERE and HERE (join please and invite everyone you know).

Anyways before i go on a rant about study leave, lets get on with it; I popped home, got changed, headed back into Bury to meet vickieeeeee. Had a good time, And went to get a bus back.

Now this is where the mircale (of Bury Interchange, natch) happens.

The 472 (what a bus, for more about buses see here) pulls out and pulls out of the interchange. I knock on the bus door, the driver lets me on. And he says:

"Born in philde-" wait no thats something else, THE BUS DRIVER SAID;

"Just sit down"

Awesome.
Anyways i still try and pay at the next stop but he waves me away.
My faith in humanity: +10.

Which brings me on to my exciting new feature:

Ste's faith in humanity chart/graph/line/thing:
(or SFIHC/G/L/T for "short")
Fancy paint work in one of my blogs?
Man I'm going up market, watch out the financial times.

Let me explain how this works.
Humans do things. Every time someone does something that effects me - either directly or indirectly - affects my faith in humanity.

Current good things (56.374%):
- Mates/Victoriaaa
- Knill probably staying at bury
- THE EPIC BUS DRIVER
- an amazing amazing picture involving robert (see later)
- The papers not slating Brown for doing something right (first time evar :O)

Current bad things (43.626%):
- study leave. wait what study leave?
- Expenses by the MPs. "LOL WUT LETS RUB SUM MUNEY". srs.
- People over reacting to the expenses. "LOL WUT THEY PAID FOR A CLEANER AS THEY'RE TOO BUSY SAVING THE WORLD? BUT ITS OUR MUNIE'. srs.
- People saying they want the death penalty back. I'll cover this in another blog, but basically. stfu.

Anyways.
What is this epic picture i mentioned before?

Well if you have never had Mr Hauxwell (fat but kinda awesome, like a water balloon) you won't understand but:

ROB MET BILL NYE.

In a this blog is better than your life EXCLUSIVE, we talk to both Rob and Bill to gauge how they felt.

First up... Rob.

"How did you meet Bill?"

"I was totally just walking down this road, right. And then he comes out of nowhere like:
'HEY! are you Rob?! from The Derby High?! MAN I LOVE YOU! Can I get a picture with you? Please?! I'd love to show my kids.' So i was like:
'ok, just let me put this silly hat on..' and then his wife, jill nye the science WIII(fe) took the picture, and thats how i met him"

"Did he start singing his theme tune?"

"well, as IM SURE YOU KNOW, he doesnt sing most of it, and his backup singers weren't there.. so he tried, but he was just going "science rules" then pausing for a while"

"Final question: Billy Nye. Would you?"

"definitely. no second thought."

We tried speaking to Bill. But he was too busy going "a little bit longer" and doing stuff over and over and over and over and over again.

SEE YOU NEXT TIME FOLKS.

ps. Next time will be amazing
pps. Content is subject to change.
ppps. Oh aye, adz = sexy

What The Fuck Is Study Leave? - A tale of Year 11 woe.

2009-05-18T17:21:00.005+01:00

Once upon a time, the goverment invented something called The GCSEs (Glaringly Crappy Solid Exams). The GCSEs were tests that 16 year olds had to take to prove to people, that we're not all stupid people who stab people for fun (hello half of Radcliffe). In the good old days, schools realised that these exams were tough and that we needed time off to study, known as study leave.

Then Miss Byrne came along, stuck her middle finger up at good ideas and wandered off again until the next time she's needed to bore someone to death.

This have left half of the school hearing of this myth of the yester year known as "Study Leave". This begs the question.

What the fuck is study leave?

I'll tell you what study leave is.

Study leave is a magical thing which lets you revise what you want!
Seriously! :|

Study leave is a magical thing that doesn't make you do lessons where you've already had that GCSE!
Why hello there PE and Music (for you lot).

Study leave is a magical thing that lets you revise for the exam that's the next day instead of 2 weeks away!

But seriously now, lets have a look at some evidence.

Tomorrow i have a media exam (dun dun dun). I haven't really done enough planning for it (my fault). But the thing is, if i was on study leave. I could have spent all of today doing it.

Instead of doing it for an hour in school before having 4 hours of lessons about subjects i aint got for weeks!

What the fuck is the point in that? If any teacher reads this blog, please explain.

Look, fair enough, i understand that a lot of Derby High School probably wouldn't spend any time at all revising by themselves, so maybe, you could argue, they're helping us by keeping us in.

But the fact is, while everyone else in my year had a maths exam we were forced into 2 hours of science. Why didnt they put us on media study instead?

Answer? Because they're fucktards.

It's like telling someone they've got to learn to swim by tomorrow but we're going to spend all day teaching you how to fucking walk.

That's me metaphorically drowning in a bunch of media.

Maybe i wouldnt be so annoyed if it werent for the fact, i learnt fuck all in science bar the fact magnets are fun (i left it there by mistake ;_;) and that rob gets as bored as me.

Sort it out school.
The thing is, they've made it worse by making me make a blog how fucking pissed off i am about it, thus wasting more of my time.

Thanks ms byrne, fucking thanks.

Ps. Adz = REVISION
Pps. ANYONE AGREE? LEAVE ME A COM-REVISION.

Happy Birthday Blog!

2009-05-17T17:44:00.003+01:00

ONE MONTH OLD TODAY :D

Don't worry there won't be any major relelations about this blogs birth like this.

I know i've used this picture before but i love it:

However. THE CAKE IS A LIE.

Well not a lie, i just didn't really make it one.

But this blog is a lie!

Leave your birthday messages :D

Ps. adz = ratings?
Pss. Thanks to anyone who reads these, without you, i'd give up.

I Am Alive

2009-05-14T22:31:00.003+01:00

[Song by Little Man Tate - I don't like it that much, but fuck it, IT FITS THE BLOG. Fav song by LMT is thissssss (not the whole song and a live version but meh, if you're that arsed i'll send it you on msn)]

I know you've all been worrying over the pass few days since sunday about whether i had died, i had so many peopl asking :O
But don't worry.

I AM ALIVE

And back to blogging.
Yay?

Well anyway, todays topic is to do with the absolutely awesomeness of public transport, as well as the absolutely shitness of public transport!

A Bus.

There are a few ways you can notice whether you're on a bus or not.

Here we go.

A bus...
1) Charge you ridiculous prices... The child bus fair was 40p 5 years ago. It's now 80p. WHAT THE FUCK? INFLATION HAS GONE UP BY 100% ?!
2) Chavs are listening to there shitty shitty music on their phones really loud so the rest of us can't concentrate on fucking Art Brut properly.
3) The person next to you stinks of beer/weed/shit.
4) The person next to you is your best friend.
5) The Bus Driver pays no respect for the rules of the road. What the fuck is a red light? The bus driver doesn't know.
6) The bus vibrates like crap as its at least 20 years old.
7) Never on time. And never enough of them.

However, A bus isn't...
1) Free
2) Quiet and relaxed.
3) Smells like lovely airfreshener
4) Clean or modern
5) Driven by nice people.

Srsly.

Cuz i am.

Alright i'm generallising massively here but you get my point. Buses have a hell of a lot of downsides. I'm going to use some annecdotes here, sure if i used these in court they wouldn't stand up and the jury would find me as lieing through "lack of evidence" (what the fuck is that shit?) but still...

Right tuesday, waiting for a bus to go play for me team woodbank (semi final tomorrow, Friday 15th - 6:30PM Lower Gigg). I had to wait 20 minutes. Nicht gut. I got on, paid my ridiculous 80p (even though I'm 16... breaking the law; ITS KEWL KIDS) and travelled on a rubbish bus surrounded by people who probably have swine flu as they're all pigs.

Anyways, at least i got on a bus. Today, went into bury after hanging out with Vickiee, fucking no buses for half an hour! At quater past 6! Thats still fucking rush hour! How the fuck are people meant to get home from work? We don't all want to kill the planet by driving our Land Rovers every day of the week.

Planet murdering bastards.
Still, at least they're comfier than buses.

But still despite all this.

Buses are Amazing
(Yes thats an amazing with a capital A)

Why?

Because sure they might be shitter than Rochdale AFC and carry more AIDs than the whole of africa combined, but think about it.

Millions of people get on buses every day, we pay our fares, we grumble about the weather, we are thourghly miserable, we're English after all. But at least it gets us there. People paying a fraction of what it costs to drive somwhere to someone who doesnt get hardly any money. It shouldn't work. But it does. So next time you wish public transport would die, just think.

It's better than walking.

===

PS. Art Brut has a song about this "The Passenger" Check it out.

Broken Heartbeats Sound Like Breakbeats

2009-05-10T18:34:00.006+01:00

First off, i got invited to a group on facebook by Daniel Wainwright titled: "There ain't no black on the union jack". First off:

1) This is technically true.
2) But there is blue and red on the flag as well... where are all the blue and red people :/

So if i join that group not only am i a racist, i'd be an idiot as well.

No black, but what about the blue and red people...

Red and blue? Wow. You're in.

You're not though, hence why i'm beating you.

Racism is stoopid.

Anyways, moving onto the real point of this blog.

We lost.

This actually looks like this kid who was next to me for a bit

I'm a bit upset, hence the name of the blog (which is the name of a song by Los Campesinos!). As i'm currently heartbroken, upset and have no voice. I just made it worse by shouting when Gillingham scored against fail.

I'm officially adopting Gillingham as my team for the play offs now.

For 2 reasons:

1) I don't like Shrewsbury or Fail.
2) We beat them 4-0 this season, so if they go up, i can say "Yeah but we beat them 4-0!" ;]

Good team, shit nickname.

So what happened in the match i hear you ask.

Well, tbh, if you werent there at the match or watching on tv, do you honestly care?
No you don't.

But basically, we missed a shed load of chances, conceeded in the last 5 mins on normal time and lost on penalties. Sickening.

I still have no voice and i still feel kind of sick.

Nicht gut.

I'm annoyed by how it ended but it's just when i think back and think how close we were, all those wasted hours on coachs and in cars. It just makes you feel a bit crap.

Out of 52 games this year. I've been a mamouth 39.

39.
Thats 3510 minutes of my life watching us this year. Thats approximately 2 and a half days.

Lets break that down.

In the league (inc. playoffs) - 34/48 games. I missed one at home and eleven away.
In the cups - 3/4 - I saw all the ones at home. Missed the one away.

All that wasted time and effort spent on pies and travel and hope. Not good.

Om nom nom

In other news...

My mum gave me the most retarded one pound coin i have ever seen (for school, she doesnt randomly give me quids unfortunately):

I mean look at it.

Also i took a shit loads of pictures on thursday, check them out here.

And that just about wraps it up, here's a bug... that's friendly:

Vamoos.

PS. Adz = ratings
PPS. Yeah.
PPPS. Just realised, this blog is pretty angsty, i had a vair good saturday. (:There you go, now its less angsty.

Voice...

2009-05-09T20:34:00.009+01:00

First off. Have a read. Then comment please, just so i know people are still reading (basically click the comments thing at the bottom).

Anyways, in other news... I'm not dead! Yes, i'm sure you were all worried that i had died a death as i havent updated since tuesday night, but no im still alive and well... ish.

I've lost my voice at the moment... well kinda. It's all croaky so instead of sounding like a lanc:

Love it.

I sound like a manc:

Oh noez.

So how have i lost my voice? Well to many cigerates looking at our noel there, but also a couple of things which mainly boil down to one thing. Football.

Basically on thursday i travelled to lovely shrewsbury to see bury SMASH them, errr 1-0, with an AMAZING goal... scored by one of their players. And i spent the whole match shouting at the top of my voice, including a 20 minute repeat of "Alan Knills Barmy Army" over and over again, it was like singing to a snow patrol album: Slow build up... slow chorus... slow verse... slow chorus... slow verse... FAST AND LOUD CHORUS FOR LAST 30 SECONDS. Rinse and repeat for 3/4 albums. Boring boring snow patrol.

Which one of these 2 pictures are shit.
Hint: It's the one on the fucking right.

My favourite chants were either:
"You're Welsh and you know you are!"
or
"You've all got swine flu!"
As amir said: "Where chants and Latest Affairs collide" - Bury FC.

It was gud as i used to say back in da day, getting back in at quater past 12 wasn't though.

Anyways, so i was a bit sore after that in my throat. And then on friday after school. We played the teachers in an epic duel (unfortunately not to the death)
For us this was payback for 5 years of boring, crap, worthless lessons and unfair punishment.
For them this was payback for 5 years of us basically pissing around in their lessons.

Who would win? SPOILER ALERT

I was captain (second time in my school career, i love it) as Matty Carr could only manage the team.
We battled hard but we couldn't score before half time and we were put under the cosh in the second as they had the wind in their favour. Unfortunatelly brooksy scored and i started to think it was over and we were going to lose...

We weren't. Goal from Shoaib (i can never spell his name tbh) and Adam Dawson put us 2-1 up. I dragged daws too the floor and had a massive pile on of about 15 people. Love it.

Brooks missed an open net and Eastie headed off our line (and he was playing for the teachers) but we still won! Cue mad celebrations, and we're going to have so much fun in our last few weeks...

Anyways the point is, i lost my voice as i spent the whole match shouting at all the retards on my team. So yeah. Back to my original point, I've lost my voice.

Any ideas on how to get it back? A quick google search gives me the following:

1) Hot Toddy: Tea, honey, lemon and a bit of scotch, whiskey or rum.

2) Take showers and breath a little deeper. The steam will help keep your vocal chords moist.

They sound shit, real advice please?

In other news, Bury FC play tomorrow. Get down to Gigg Lane and cheer on the boys.

Anyways, here's an amazing picture of a rabbit with a pancake on it's head (sorry vickiee, thought it was a dog):

Epic

Adios.

PS. Adz = comments
PPS. Comment plz.

Ramble

2009-05-06T00:37:00.007+01:00

Aimless. Pointless. (arguabably) Worthless.
Oh.
And, shit.

This is why the internet was invented.
Oh btw, myspace.

This blog has no coeherrant (big word that tbh, spelt wrong obv) topic. If amir was here (Which hes not *sob*) he would ask what's my purpose, what's the fucking point?

Well. There isn't one. I have no point to this blog. I have nowhere i want to lead. I have nowhere i want to start. I'm just writing because it's late, i'm bored, and i'm not feeling great.

You see, FOR ONCE, i tried going to bed early (well quater to 12).
It failed.
I failed.
I suck.

What a guy.
What do you mean that's me?!

So i'm back and my minds rambling at the moment.
Like, fireworks, it's good, but fucking loud and fucking all over the place, and i need to cut out the bastard swearing, this is meant to be a 12A blog, if i was a parent i wouldnt let my 5 year old read this shit.

Obviously it couldnt as it's got such MASSIVE words in as coeherrant and... start?

My brain

Ooooh that's a good line: "Is it the sound of a man wrestling with emotion, or the sound of him losing and causing comotion" By art brut, who else? Basically this is what this blog is. a ramble, about my feelings and stuff?

Oh yeah, I found out mr east (or eastie as we lovingly call him <3), style="text-align: center;">What a man.
What a myth.
What a Legend.

But yeah i've realised i go on about art brut too too too much so from now on, no more mentions.
Sorry eddie argos :( No not argos argos. jeeez.

I'm seeing the twisted wheel a week on saturday :D

I like the one in the middle most, he had a conversation with me when he signed me cd. ANOTHER STE FACT BROUGHT TO YOU BY COLGATE.

With starkie. Andrew starkie, what a legend. As the song goes, he's a womanizer... well an attempted womanizer. He's not the best at it, bless him. But his hearts in the right place even if his cocks not, so someone'll take him in, he needs mothering tbh.

He's a "friend", love inbetweeners.

INBETWEENERS.

That's something i was going to do a blog about. Well inbetweeners is an amazing comedy for E4. It's basically my life exaggerated by 100. Amir is Will, I'm Simon, Starkies Jay, and Ben is Will. Apparently.

If that means nothing to you....

WATCH MORE INBETWEENERS.

I have series 1 on dvd, ask me nicely and i'll lend it to you. cause i'm a kind soul like that.

Good shit,

Anyways, i had me german oral (hehehehehehehehehehehe ORAL! GET IT! CUZ ITS LIKE! BJS AND STUFF!?!?!?!?!! LOLOLOLLLOL) exam this morning. Went alright yeah, was quite good.

I was loving the team work me, ell and proudy (tom proudlove for those not with the lingo) displayed though. You go to this seperate table to do your roleplay (*giggle*) and i wrote "ste" on the desk. Elliott being the bastard of Mary that he is, wrote "smells".
But proudy wrote: NICE!

Genius. I love those gais. Wait, why do i love elliott when he did that?

Well me and ell are often asked if we're related. Let's look at the facts here. We're the same age, get on well, have long (ish) brown hair, and are about the same height. But our faces dont look similar, he has slightly more muscle and fat (not saying much though lets be honest). So yeah. Go fuck yourselves people who say that. Sure we're both sexy, BUT IN DIFFERENT WAYS.

Anyways, i do love him. hes immense. went chesham primary school. Epic. Best 7 years of my life. No cares in the world, no worries that if you say a certain thing a girl will react badly, or anything of that sort. Just Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool. And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school. When a couple of guys said were up in no good Started making trouble in my neighbourhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared. And said youre moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near the licensplate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare. But I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air. I pulled up to a house about seven or eight, And I yelled to the cabby yo, home smell you later. Looked at my kingdom I was finally there. To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.

Oh aye. Bet you didnt see that coming bitch.

In other news 90% of people who read that are now doing this:

sorry.

So what has this blog achieved? It's wasted a few minutes of my life to type, and yours to read. But fuck it. It was worth it.

I love you all, every single one of you. Sure you're all going to lose touch with me at some point, but i'll still fucking love you.
<3

PS. click the links bitches.
pps. adz = etc.
ppps. i were gunnah do more links but got bored

Fucking German Makes This Happen To Ste

2009-05-04T17:35:00.002+01:00

Auf fucking Weidersehen.

Album Reviews

2009-05-03T20:20:00.008+01:00

Before i go any further, here's a warning:

THIS BLOG CONTAINS OPINIONS

Wrong ones, right ones, downright stupid ones and of course the occasionally ill informed stupid opinion.

This blog is about the thing that has been terrorising my wallet like a priest in a nursery:

Music.

The past 3 mondays I've bought an album. I have seen 2 of the bands play live and booked a ticket to see the other one again. It costed me quite a bit.

But this blog won't just rate and review those albums. But also talk about the gigs i've been to in my short life. Okay, as you can tell this blog might not really be hilarious or even that awesome... well it will. But still. Just warning so i dont get 5 people going "DT WSNT DT GD M8"... tbh no one does that anyway as my mates can fucking type, but you get the picture.

Anyways without further ado, onto the album reviews:

Twisted Wheel - Twisted Wheel
Released: 13th April

Twisted Wheel are a 3 piece band (well you can tell by the cover) from Oldham. Basically they're pretty much indie rock. They've supported The Enemy and Oasis... you can probably guess already what they're like. Loud guitars, loud drums, loud singing (shouting). Defiently bounce around scream-the-rather-useless-lyrics-at-them kind of band.

I'll be honest here and say they don't have very many deserniable riffs at all, so if you're into the whole technical music ascept "oooh look at these pretty chords" kind of thing, you'd probably be best to steer clear. However if you want something catchy and loud and... kind of aggressive. This is a good band, hell great even.

I've been into them since last summer where i heard the amazing You Stole The Sun on Radio 1 and i've pretty much grabbed all their music that i could have (legally too i may add). This is the first band i've pretty much followed before an album so too finally get a copy of their album was amazing, but kind of odd as well.

This is because out of the 11 (rather good) tracks, i already knew 7 of them! So listening to it was like listening to a collection of your favourite songs rather than an album, however it ends up gelling really well.

However out of the tracks i hadn't heard before only Bad Candy grabbed me while Oh What Have You Done? and One Night On The Street seeming quite good but not as good as the ones i know. Bouncing Bomb (also a new 'un) is by far the worse track on the album, though it probably seems worse as it comes after the stand out You Stole The Sun.
Overall:

8 out of 10
Good, but too many duff tracks and not imagitave enought lyrics for me.

Tracklist:

Lucy The Castle
She's A Weapon
We Are Us
Oh What Have You Done
Strife
One Night On The Street
Let Them Have It All
Bad Candy
You Stole The Sun
Bouncing Bomb
What's Your Name?

Ste Recommends: You Stole The Sun, Strife and Lucy The Castle

Art Brut - Art Brut Vs. Satan
Released: 20th April

Art Brut have been around for aaaaaaages and yet none of you probably know them, bar from my incessent bloging about them. Art Brut is understandably unhappy about all this as seen in Demons Out!: "The record buying public, we hate them, this is Art Brut vs. Satan". You're satan you dunderheads.

So why oh why havent you been buying their music? Because you don't know it as well... they're a very accquired taste. The band consists of 4 men and one female. The front of the group is Eddie Argos, singer and lyrics genius. He's a really nice bloke too.

This is like the reverse of Twisted Wheel, sure they both use "typical" indie instruments but that's like saying both Me and Obama are the same cause we shave.

This album is very much all about the lyrics. And this is by no means a bad thing when the lyrics have so many stories and witty jokes in them. Don't get me wrong, I love the music but the lyrics are where its at here.

The album starts with Alcoholics Unaimous, a tale that'll be very familiar with those of you who wake up "confused" and feel the urge to "apologise to them all with the same group text". This is a true story of Eddies, and on the video you can actually see the saved text message he sends to people when apologizing in real life.

The second song is amazing and has been raised to my favourite Art Brut song, which isn't an easy job considering how much i love them. DC Comics And Chocolate Milkshakes are about, well you can guess from the title! Absolutely amazing, and it speaks to me with a line like "I love the taste of cereal, I have it for almost every meal". Sounds like me doesn't it?

3rd track is good but nothing outstanding. The fourth track Am I Normal? is pure genius. It's about Eddie when he was in his early teens finding it hard to speak to girls. This is about him going out of the way to try to speak to a girl but eventually losing his courage each time: "I got scared, and hid behind a tree". I'm sure everyone of us boys had someone who we fancied at the age of 12/13 that we went out of our way to try and bump into but never actually got around to doing anything, i had a couple embarrisingly enough. And that's why i love this track.

What A Rush has my favourite Art Brut line ever: "I can't believe the things we did, esspecially now i'm sober... ish" and is a great bounce around tune. I've already discussed Demons Out! Slap Dash for No Cash is about what kind of music he likes and considers a fairly good point in the line: "Why does everyone want to sound like U2? That's not a very cool thing to do."

But after that it kind of dips. The Replacements is the worst track on the album and while Twist And Shout and Summer Job are both decent, they aren't great. However the finale track, Mysterious Bruises is epic.

9 out of 10
Great Album, my favourite of 2009. But It kind of loses the plot for a while unfortunately.

Tracklist:

Alcoholics Unamious
DC Comics And Chocolate Milkshake
The Passenger
Am I Normal?
What A Rush
Demons Out!
Slap Dash For No Cash
The Replacements
Twist And Shout
Summer Job
Mysterious Bruises

Ste Recommends: DC Comics And Chocolate Milkshake, Am I Normal? and What a Rush.

The Enemy - Music For The People
Released: 27th April

By far the most popular band on this list of albums, The Enemy are a 3 piece, bass heavy, indie rock band from Coventry.

This album is pretty much, a working class album, with such lyrics as "Ever feel so small, stood in a world that owes you nothing at all" and "then goverments will fall". If the Enemy had their way we'd be storming downing street and hang Gordon Brown, wait no thats the daily mail...

The first 2 tracks... are very strange. The first one, Elephant Song, has good build up but the vocals aren't my favourite tbh, but it's grown on me massively. No Time For Tears is the single out currently, i think it's a good track but nowt ground breaking. 51st state has worse lyrics, but the music is faster, punchier, and more old fashioned Enemy style which I enjoy.

Sing When You're In Love, is a beautiful track. Beautiful. Best on album

Last Goodbye sounds so much like thissongicantthinkofrightnow it is unbelivable. Still a good track but when its blatently ripping off a track like that, I found it hard to love. Saying that i love Oasis and they just rip off the beatles in all of their songs. So maybe its just the song.

Nation of Checkout girls is a great track. But Be Somebody is my 2nd favourite song on the album. Not only does it include the epic line: "No one ever gives you anything for free unless you start sleeping with the BBC" but it also has the best chorus on the album.

Don't Break The Red Tape is repetitive but good and includes the most political lyrics on any of these albums with: "New Labour's a joke, just another Thatcherite". Keep losing has a great chorus again and very relatable too lyrics all the way through. And Silver Spoon does make you realise how hard the Enemy battled to get where they are.

8+1/2 out of 10
Some amazing songs but is let down by some others and is too short of an album

Elephant Song
No Time For Tears
51st State
Sing When You're In Love
Last Goodbye
Nation of Checkout Girls
Be Somebody
Don't Break The Red Tape
Keep Losing
Silver Spoon

Ste Recommends: Sing When You're In Love, Be Somebody and Nation of Checkout Girls

I was going to go on about gigs as well. But this is already too long of a blog. I'll leave you with other peoples opinons of the bands mentioned:

Twisted Wheel:
Adz = "Who the fuck are Twisted Wheel?" (Unfortunately not doing a refrence to this. Which would have been epic)
James = "Truely a dirty, gritty band" (Agreed)
Starkie = "catchy upbeat music and totally awesome :)" (And again, agreed)
Lizzie = "apparently there good but i think starkie said that so there probably rubbish (:" (They are good.)

Art Brut:
Adz = "I'M CONSIDERING A MOVE TO ELL AAA." (Track from their first album)
James = "from what i heard, they sound pretty cool" (Listen more bitch)
Starkie = "never herd of them, but ive herd one song cos there on fifa" (Direct Hit which err... wasnt a direct hit.)
Lizzie = "i heard a song by them but cant remember what it was called ...it was bobbins tho" (Listen to moar!)

The Enemy:
Adz = "The Enemy = almost as much ratings as adz"
James = "ive not heard that much of them but what i have heard, theyre alright?" (Again, listen more)
Starkie = "new albums ment to b good :) like there image :)" (It is good starkie as you've just read.)
Lizzie = "there not that great but there one of the best bands of that kind of music thing. And that song they did was really catchy. i like catchy. ok there alright i suppose. (:" (You can see her thought process change here)

Here's a picture of a cat djing:

Bye.

Saturday... again

2009-05-03T00:02:00.006+01:00

I spent at least... oooh... 30 seconds looking for a song title to sum up this blog, but i couldnt find one that was called "Phone, bury win but lose, chinise for tea". Seriously, Kaboom! get working on it ;]

Because first off;

I HAVE A PHONE AGAIN

That is right, a week and a bit after this shocking thing happened, i am back in communication with the outside world again. And tbh... it's not been that bad. Sure the first 3 days were difficult, but after that, it wasn't that bad - a bit like smoking i assume.

I mean i missed it to play games on in english, nothing stems the tide of boring english like a game of Quadrapop (spelling?) basically a watered down version of tetris... yes you can waterdown this:

Love the human race

So other than wasting valuble GCSE time playing games on my phone what else can i do on it? Well i can text and you know, all the other usual phone stuff.
But. But.
Matthew Higgins lent me the phone and is a legend. Why? Well, because i've known him since i was 2 tbh. I remember the many wasted hours playing "wally" on his backstreet. Good times. But he's also a legend because he let me have the memory card too.

That means that solves my mp3 player problem too! As i can finally listen to my new albums (which i'll review sometime ;])! This is a great day for my ears and me generally. The rest of you have to put up with hearing my amazing songs too! By amazing bands such as Art Brut (Top of the Pops!), Los Campesinos, Twisted Wheel... and bands you've actually heard of! :O

You = winnar.

The sex.
Otherwise known as Los Campesinos.

In other news;

Today was the big day. Bury versus Accrington Stanley (who are they?).
We won, we invaded the pitch twice, we cheered, we sang, we didnt go up :(
Was it a big of a waste as last weekend? Course not, as we actually won and i had fun with james, salty and O.K. (Oliver Kelly not okay).

This means. PLAY OFFS. First leg is thursday away, coach leaves at half 4. Whose up for it? (I'm looking at you Sammy, you said you wanted to go on the coach sometime)

Anyways, yeah i ran on the pitch and got bollocked by Ben Futcher. He's 6ft 7, and generally a scary man.

So we ran back off. Sure we're idiots, but when am i next going to get a chance to run on the pitch? Errr, sunday for the second leg maybe? Ah yes good point.
But seriously, if you like football, get down there on sunday, it'll be unforgetable, hopefully for the right reasons, and not because I die or - worse - we lose.

But yeah. Winning but not going up? It's like thinking you've won the lottery and a million quid but you realise that the ticket is for last weeks instead and you've got it wrong, and all you've won is a tenner. Sure you're happy you got a tenner, but deflated that you didn't get the million quid. But meh. You win some you lose some.

Anyways, after all that catastrophe, me, my mum, my dad, my dads mate and his son went out for a chinese.

Chinese food is a conundrum. It's nice. Like really nice. It's so nice it makes skittles taste umm... not as nice as they normally do? Seriously.

The thing is...
WHAT'S WITH ALL THE FUCKING STARTERS?

Seriously. I need to stop saying seriously. Seriously.
Anyways, look, you have chicken soup. Yum. You have some spring rolls, awesome. Maybe some spare ribs? Some of those prawn things? Or that fancy wrapped up thing?

And your full. And do you know what comes next?
MORE FUCKING FOOD.

The only picture where you put on calories by just looking at it.

Seriously, what the FUCK, is that about?
Like, i know some people have bigger stomachs than me, so they can eat more. But i stuffed myself tonight and its making me queasy looking at that picture! I mean, come on people, how much do you people eat? Is this some kind of chinese plot?

"Oooh overlord! To make the world accept communism, we should feed them so much food they wont be able to argue!"
"Excellent idea, but that's the freedom of thinking, i'll have to kill you"
/facepalm

It looks like they're trying first with America, fight the power Barack. Fight the power.

I think that just about wraps it up.
Here's a picture of dancing cheese:

Bye you lot.

PS. Adz = ratings

Shit youtube video.

2009-05-02T13:32:00.002+01:00

But me mate has been bugging me for ages so it's here (BTW if you haven't checked this blog since thursday you have TWO new posts to read, other than this one):

Being english

2009-05-01T23:46:00.002+01:00

This is based on this facebook group

Right i'm not saying there is anything wrong with joining this group. Actually it's a good thing to be proud of where you come from. I'm proud of it tbh, we're a pretty decent bunch... bar the racists.

The racists, seem to think that anything with the words "english" or "british" and think O LETS SPOUT OUR BNP BULLSHIT.

Kieran Green send the paki's bk

LOL K MATE!

Karl Stroud this is our country and we need to take it back send all those foreign cunts back i`m english til i die

LOL CUZ THEY'RE FOREIGN THEY'RE CUNTS.

Wayne Mchale its england and it should stop that way but they let all the fuckin pakis cum over here and takeover am fuckin hate thm

LOL CUZ THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY THE MAJORITY LULZ! WELL DONE WAYNE YOU TWAT.

This pretty much sums up how i feel:

Colin Phipps I am extremely proud to be English but not to be associated with the majority of bigots who have placed comments on here! If you are proud then don't be an idiot and show yourself up. You just give others grounds to stereotype. Racism is not clever or funny, it just shows you are an uneducated fool!!

top bloke

Anne Haworth i am proud to be English, its just a pity that we have no longer the priviledge of free speech, nor are we allowed opinions. you can dislike your next door neighbour if they are english, but you have to like your foreign neighbour and if you dont . dont tell anyone ... its racist.

LOL YEAH CUZ THEY'RE FOREIGN THEY'RE IMMUNE TO CRITISM LOL LOOK AT THAT BRAZILIAN GUY GETTING SHOT FOR INSTANCE. go fuck yourself anne haworth.

Matt Perry sing it loud ENGLISH AND PROUD!!! fuk th invaders tht av dragged my sweet country down th shitter its not a racist fing its a y th fuk shud i wrk my nuts off while cunt foreigners get everyfin given 2 em n even wen they do they exploit this gr8 country fuk them n fuk europe BNP

This comment is ridiculous, "its not racist" "BNP" "cunt foreigners" LULZ WAHT?!

English Embryo Plenty of (darkies) that are English !!!!!!!!

WHAT IS THIS I DONT EVEN

Mary Pickering when in rome . thats all i can say . if i went were they lived r they goin build me a church ,can i go on a day out in there country without hiiding me face in a black hankey ? no no no but they can come here and do exactley that , , ,,,

LOL WUT. IN MARY'S WORLD, PAKISTAN WILL STAB YOU FOR NOT COVERING YOUR FACE IF YOUR A WOMAN.

Shawn Smith there is no black in my union jack

There's no white either *facepalm*

Bradley Haywood B-B-BNP!

Brillaint. Go die.

Martin Freeman lets start a civil fucking war kick out the blacks and give the country back to the true brits!!!!speak english or die

Speak english or die? You try typing in fucking english first, then we'll talk. you fucking retard.

Btw, if i have offended you in anyway, you are a racist my good man/woman.
It's probably not your fault, your parents and peers probably are idiots and it rubbed off on you.

Quick note.

The COLOUR of someones skin or the PLACE they're from, does not make them a "cunt", you cant send people back cuz they're "foreign" as we're all fucking foreign somewhere down the line.

Seriously. fuck off.

Summertime

2009-05-01T22:05:00.003+01:00

[Title is a song by Milburn - RIP]

So it is MAY!
You know: Sun is shining, and you're feeling fine and the birds are singing in the trees! (obscure mighty boosh refrences ftw, m i rite lizzie?)

Anyways. Shit i really should have planned this blog out. Not a crappy miss burns plan: "OOOH PLAN THE TECHNIQUES" lulz wut? Seriously.

But like a plan. So i'm not just rambling incessinantelylelylyly (spelling ftl). Or maybe you like that?

Anyways i may as well do my plan now:

1) Weekend
2) ... shit.

Thing is if i was writing a plan i'd do it minemap styley. With arrows coming off saying.,

You know what? I've just lost half my readership with that start. So we have the dedicated fans. Have a cookie man: (::) I'd buy you a real one but i'm skint.

Anyways. So ZE WEEKEND!

Tomorrow is the day.
The epic day.
Last day of the season:
Bury vs. Accrington Stanley.

Basically, here are the outcomes:

1) We lose, we don't go automatically up.
2) We win, Exeter win, Wycombe win/draw. We don't go automatically up.
3) We draw, exeter draw, we don't go up.
4) We draw, exeter lose, WE GO UP
5) We win, exeter draw/lose, WE GO UP.
6) We win + exeter win + wycombe lose so bad that we overtake them on goaldifference: WE GO UP.

Basically, we have to do better than exeter.
Reckon we can do it?

WTF IS THIS SHIT. I LACK INSPIRATION

HERES A DANCING BEAR:

ps. no u adz.

I'm (not) Sorry.

2009-04-29T18:07:00.008+01:00

Okay, I am sorry, but I just stuck the not in so i could link to perhaps my 4th/5th favourite band, the pigeon detectives :D

Proper bounce around feel good music, sure the lyrics arent deep, but they do have the lyrics "You know i love you, take off your clothes" which is the best and worst chat up line ever, even beating the amazing "I have skittles in my mouth... want to taste the rainbow? ;]". OH GOD I JUST REMEMBER THE BEST ADVERT EVER:

;_;

Anyways enough about my awesome chat up lines and awesomeerrrr music bands. Moving onto the main event!

Why am i sorry?
Because i forgot Lizzie and Dave in my last blog, when i listed my avid readers :|

Lizzie i've known for a while now, i made the amazing scitcat story with her in it ages ago. Christ that is a good story, i'll put it on here sometime. But she's pretty cool, she's obsessed with waffles, fightstar and jammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmy dodgers ;]

Lizzieh! But more importantly: Pingu on her t-shirt!

Dave i havent known for that long, but people seem to think i love him. I don't, he's just pretty cool (A bit like me and Webb jenny+sammy who say we're bum boys :[). He is welsh, but don't hold that against him. He works around it by trying to be cool. Oh i should probably mention he's going out with my little sister (well shes older but smaller) and if he hurts her im going to wack him with a golf club ^_^

Dave! (on the right...)

Anyways, i lied when i said when that was the main event.
Firstly heres a video made by the ever amazing mr andrew starkie.
Apart from the videos shit. It's 5 minutes long. I recommend you don't watch it, but i said i'd publize it. So i am. I'm such an amazing friend.

If you bring yourself to watch it you'll notice how they mention swine flu.
Well Swine flu? Stop (s)wineing about it. (c wt i did dare?)

But... hang on? Will we all die? Well tbh, some of us might. Which is a bit like being told "Hey i have some cake here but only 9/10ths of you are going to get it". The other 1/10th get panicy, and sweaty and upset and nose runs and you put face masks on... oh wait noes thats swine flu. See how close that metaphor is linked?

This blog is like english revision and entertainment in one! You'll thank me when you scrape a B and get into college bitches.

Anyways swine flu has just killed a 23 month old baby in America today.

Not good.

But the simple fact is, you can only get it the same way you get normal flu. So as long as you dont touch your mouth or nose and wash your hands every other second you'll be fine. So basically. You have no chance you scrubbers.

Maybe.

I'm kind of hoping for a zombie kind of outbreak tbh. I think it'd be fun. A sean of the dead kind of outbreak though, where we can go hide in our local pub and not get bitt... oh shit. Still it'd be fun. If you had to choose 5 items to survive a zombie outbreak from your house what would you choose?

Firstly, my phone. OH SHIT I'VE LOST IT! :( Though i might be borrowing chelsies old one... its pink...
Anyways. My mp3, and plenty of batteries. Killing too music ftw? I can imagine killing a zombie to the rocky theme tune. Epic.
I'd also take a rounders bat (why the fuck not?) and a teddy of some sort. Use it as a disctraction ;]

How about youse?

Anyways, this blog is an absolute nightmare, the amount of people who want me to talk about them. Firstly, cheers to sarah for suggesting swine flu as a topic. Secondly, Katie, i can't mention you EVERY SINGLE BLOG! Oh shit i just did. Oh and vickiee, i vill vrite vust vsing v's vomeday, vust vot voday!

In a bit people.

PS. Adz = ratings. and caek.
PPS. Sorry lizzie and dave (again!)

"Needs More Cowbell"

2009-04-28T18:13:00.009+01:00

Hallo!

Ich heisse Ste und die ist mein... blog?

Okay, enough German (i have my speaking test a week today and i am bricking it >_<).

First off, the title. It's a quote. Of me (c'mon, it sounds like me dont it). But what about? All shall be revealed later on... christ i feel like blue peter.

Anyways, before i go any further i'm going to list a few people. These people either read my blog a lot or just meither me to mention them. So i am going too so here's one i made earlier (continuing the blue peter theme see ;]) :

Jamie, Katie, Rob, Adz (= RATINGS), Vickiee, Lyd, James, Oll-Annoymous, Sarah, Lizzie, Sammy, Jenny, Webb, Amir, Jane and Lucy.

I'm sure i've probably missed a lot of people out and you're all not going to talk to me ever again. But meh, i can live with that.

This blog is about the ever amazing (and mentioned before) Art Brut:

Their latest album. Go buy it. Do it.

You see, last night. I went to see the amazing boys (and one girl) from Lawndan/Germany. With Amir, he's indian. And he wears suits.

He turned up yesterday, as an indian. Wearing a suit. At a gig. What a guy. He got plenty of double takes i can tell you now:

1) Wow, a suit!
2) Wow, an inidan guy at a gig! :O

Not sure which one suprised people most tbh.

The man himself. Wearing a Berret (yes it is a berret amir).

When i first saw him wearing a suit yesterday i burst out laughing:
"See! NO TIE! IT'S INFORMAL!"
What a guy.

Anyway we got to the small but spectacular Academy 3 just before 8. Amir being the inexperianced gig goer that he is, moaned. He may have been born in India, but he's an english moaner at heart.

We stood near the front to watch the support band, The Robocop Kraus. Having watched this video of them before the gig, i thought they'd be a bit poo... I mean they were german after all (3 german refrences in one blog, I'm turning into umm... Michael Ballack).

However, they were brilliant, not musically. Just the way they perform, there was an amazing bit when the singer and 2 guitarists went "ooh ahh ahh" and then did this arm movement. Everyone in the room just laughed. Also one song used a cowbell as an instrument. Genius.

The singer came into the crowd and sang. One time he looked at me and had his arm on my shoulder. He looked like Hitler, i was kinda scared :( But still good shit. They ended it with them unscrewing the drum kit midsong, picking up the drum with the drummer still drumming it and bringing it into the crowd. Twas absolutely epic.

Onto the main event! Me and Amir was stood like 2nd line, it had begun to get packed. The room was filling up and looked pretty squashed. I wish i hadn't lost my phone or i would have taken some pictures to show you all as im sure you're all wondering.

Anyways i wondered outloud if they'd play "Nag Nag Nag Nag", and got informed by the guy infront that it'd be second song. I was happy with that fo' sure. They came out, started with new single Alochol Unamious... which i cant fine the video of, but yeah. Twas great. Then Nag Nag Nag Nag. I was right close to the front. Was awesome.

The band themselves.

Amir on the other hand was shit scared. Loads people jumping up and down and he had no idea what to do, just stood there with his arms folded... but Summer Job started. And he started bouncing... and he started singing. And all was good.

The gig was amazing so i cant be arsed picking out all the bits so i'll concentrate on a few things. Firstly the amazing chanting of "Art Brut TOP OF THE POPS!" breaking out randomly by us fans. During Modern Art he came into the crowd, and i got to scream down the microphone with Eddie (the singer, his blog is here); "MODERN ART MAKES ME WANT TO ROCK OUT" which was absolutely brilliant.

We also managed to nearly drag him into us lot near the end which was quallity. They ended amazingly playing Bad Weekend. My favourite song they played was either Modern Art, Emily Kane or Demon's Out (which took the mick out of my "favouritist" band kings of leon: "My sex is on fire?" repeated by Eddie ten times. Amazing).

It was all amazing though, best gig i've been too i think. Think it was the whole atmosphere and that, and being so close to a band i love so fucking much. Was top draw.

Worst. Joke. Ever.

Anyway i better wrap it up now. I think this was a terrible terrible blog, and i apologize, i just had to rant about Art Brut.

Byes

PS. adz = etc.

Wasted Weekend

2009-04-26T17:33:00.003+01:00

Yay! It's another title for a blog post taken from an obscure song/band! You people really don't appreciate the amount of effort i put into this blog.
A cookie for whoever guesses which band did the song "Wasted Weekend".
===

So yes, this blog is about the weekend, well, my weekend.

The weekend isstrange. You spend all your time looking forward to it but by the time it's there you waste it. A bit like getting your weekly money off your parents (or your employers for people who actually work and don't spend their time writing blogs).

I mean, you're like, "YAY MONEY!" but then you end up spending it on a packet of biscuits and a couple of waffles (there you go lizzie ;]). Your mum could have got you those things but you bought them anyway.

It's pointless.
Or wasted.
(Linking back to my main point = A* tbh).

Amazingly i couldn't find a picture of waffles and a packet of biscuits together!
Google = fail

Of course, there is those that would argue that waffles could never be wasted. That is true, but the point is money can. And in that metaphor it would.

That was how my weekend is. The actual things i did might not have been wasted, pointless, useless. But the overall 48 hours or (if you're counting from when we get freedom) 56 and a half hours was pretty pointless.

"Why, oh super Ste?" I hear you ask in your heads (well, maybe you didnt, but when you read me saying you did, it was in your head. so it kinda works)

Well the answer is simple.

What do i do every weekend?

"Football, watching Bury + Match for my team."

We have a winner! Now hold on. I'm not saying that Bury is pointless (Of course it's not!), let me explain.

As mentioned in my last blog post (that was better than your life), i had to get up early on Saturday. So early most of you lot probably wouldnt have gone to bed yet. Yes i got up at 6AM. Yes. 6 in the morning |:

I don't think i've heard something preposprous before in my life! But i did, you do crazy things for love (like... umm... i'm trying to think of the craziest thing i've done for love... umm... get back to me on that).

Because i heart bury

Almost as sexy as my face.

So i got up at 6. Got on a coach and headed for gillingham. Salty was on the coach with me. We had a chat, discussing my love life, football and inbetweeners. I had sausages for breakfast (TWO POUND TWENTY PENCE FOR TWO SAUSAGES, DAYLIGHT ROBBERY). Got back on the coach, i had a little sleepy. Got in Gillingham about 1.

We walked around for a bit and hung outside a pub, like smokers grumbling about the smokers ban... but not grumbling... or smoking.

We witnessed someone get run over.

She appeared to walk out of the chippie straight into the middle of the road. She got knocked down and the tyre was on her leg. We stopped singing Alan Knill's Barmy Army (didn't seem appropriate) and about 2o people lifted the car off her leg. I heard that her bone was sticking out :/ Anyways she seemed alright and we headed to the match.

I bumped into my brother (legend) and watched the shittest game ever. 0-0. All this way for nothing. Well for 1 point and a road accident.

I had KFC for tea (finger lickin' good), discussed primary school with salty (Epic conversation.) and got home about 11.

It was like an episode of 24... but you know 15 instead.

You got nothing on me Jack.
When was the last time you spent 12 hours on a coach, bitch.

Anyways.

Sunday, woke up this morning (i was feeling fine, we've got a current account that'll blow your mind, we'll give you fifty times more interest than these otheres could...) and i played football for my team.

We lost 1-0.
Shit score.
Shit ref.
Shit on the pitch.

So yeah wasted. And today i've just sat at home relaxing.

Hope you had a better weekend than me.

PS. Adz = ratings?
PPS. Amir, art brut tomorrow?
PPPS. Lizzie, love the waffles picture?

Skint and Demoralised

2009-04-24T21:09:00.006+01:00

(And hurt and knackered and sore... course if i put those in the title it would have ruined the whole link to this band)

So basically.
It's friday night, and i'm in... why?
Okay, to be fair, i'm in like most friday nights, BUT THIS TIME I HAVE AN EXCUSE (or 8 on a quick count).

Let's have a quick run through shall we?

1) I can barely walk. I have a dead leg. At training tonight me and CJ went for a header. He won it. I got a dead leg off him... I'm still better than him >:{

2) On my other leg i have massive burns. That isn't miss burns blown up to epic proportions clinging onto the side of my leg... shite thats scary; ("You're just arguing for the sake of it" "Get off my leg! You crazy purple haired women!" "Agreed! "WTF what are you doing here cohen?" "THATS DOUBLE WEIGHTED" Wow, i'm so writing a play of Cohen and Burns someday.) Anyways, i have huge burns. 2 of them. Being the krazy kind of guy i am, see here, i drew a face using them as eyes. My genius never fails to amaze me. But yeah. I now have massive plasters over them. Fun :(

3) I have blisters on my right heel. F-ing football boots.

4) I have blisters on my left heel. F-ing football boots.

5) I have blisters on my middle hee- OH SHI!

6) The top of my right foot is hurting. I'm counting that as a reason. Because. Like. If someone like. Dropped, umm. A... bottle on it... it'd hurt? Like more than normal?

7) I'm Getting up at 6. Yes. 6 F-ING O CLOCK! THEY HAVE A 6AM ON A SATURDAY.!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!?! Seriously :| "Why so serious?" <3 href="http://www.myspace.com/wearekaboom">Kaboom! (you all shoulda gone tbh) last night + training tonight + my general... Insomnia-ness has caught up with me.

9) Also, I'm actually skint. Like. Well not literally. I have 30 quid in the bank and about a fiver on me. But thats it. And at the moment i need the following:

- Ticket for Art Brut (Please, please, please come amir)
- Enemy Album (OUT ON MONDAYZ, BUT IT...)
- A phone :(
- An MP3/ipod
- Prostit- wait... i HAVE NO NEED FOR THOSE ;] etc.

So basically. Yeah.

That's why i'm in.

Because i'm skint and demoralised.

I think this blog lacks pictures. So.

Have a good weekend.

PS. ADZ = RATINGS (o rly?)
PPS. Shout out to Rob who actually asked for one of these :O
PPPS. If you still read this blogs. I fucking love you.

Documented Minor Emotional Breakdown #1

2009-04-21T23:28:00.006+01:00

Yes.

It's finally happened.

Me, Steven Crossley, and my phone, Sony Ericsson T303, have parted ways:

Me and T303 in happier times :(
He's the sexy black thing in my right hand.
I'm sure i could probably make a joke about a member of James' body right about now.

'So what happened?!' i hear you thinking.

Well it said a few things.
That it didnt feel the same...
It said that i wasn't treating it right...
It said that it didnt love me no more...
It said it never really liked me anyway...
It said it fancied my best mate...

oh.

AND I LEFT IT ON THE FUCKING BUS.

Is it right for me to feel so detatched from reality without it?
Lets all be honest here, i don't get that many texts, i don't send that many texts.
So why the care?
Why the tears?
Why the melodramatic blog?

Because it feels so wrong. What if someone needs to get in touch?
For example i just got told that we have a match tomorrow... I don't know as i've lost my phone :/
It's a nightmare.

The sim is lost as well, i've had that sim forever (Well, since 2007) and it has a collection of numbers of people i don't talk to anymore. Sure i don't text them anyway, but i could if i wanted too!

I'd probably felt less gutted if i'd lost a hand.
At least i could still text people with one hand less.

Which begs the question, who would win a fight?
A phone or a hand?

Let's ask...

GOOGLEFIGHT

See, even google fucking agrees with me.
And we all know they're going to be ruling the world in a few years, don't be evil my arse.

In other news.

Bury fucking sucks.
Vibes didnt have Art Brut's new album in. Neither did Tesco or Asda. Tesco didn't get one in my seven pounds that day! Well... it did as i bought a prawn sandwhich, but you know.
Anyway, i recomend you check out The lead singers blog.

The new record is quite good, I downloaded it illegally (though i also ordered the cd so that's morally okay). Art Brut songs are always growers, and i think the new album might be my favourite of theirs, as the other 2 have too many songs that make me want to - metaphorically and literally - vomit all over them.

If you want to check out any of the new songs i recommend "DC comics and chocolate milkshakes", it has the epic line:
"I love the taste of cereal, I have it for almost every meal"

There's a man after my own heart. Or moneys.

Anyways, i think i'll wrap it up there. I know it's not been a laughter filled blog this time round (course it never is, is it my favourite reviewer <3), but i'm tired and school is draining me of my life. And that didn't make any fucking sense.

Bye.

PS. ADZ = RATINGS
PPS. What's that stench?
PPPS. Kaboom! on thursday. Fucking go.
PPPPS. For those wondering, the title of the blog is the name of a song by Los Campesinos!